By Zay N. Smith
President Obama at Veterans Day ceremonies:
“Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.”
This is how the words sound while military veterans wait an average of eight months– sometimes much more–to be processed for disability and other benefits.
To be fair, Obama can cite reasons why the delays continue.
These include blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. . . .
News Headline: “Meat-eating deep sea sponges discovered.”
All right.
Who slipped the bath salts to the Intelligent Designer?
News Headline: “Study: People who live close to bars drink more heavily.”
We should be wary here of the logical fallacy:
Post hoc ergo propter hoc.
Well. In this case:
Post hoc ergo propter hoc. Hic.
William Ferry, a Lafayette, La., reader, regarding QT’s wondering, if a group of larks is an exaltation of larks, what a group of politicians should be called, writes:
“A bezoar of politicians. A micturition of politicians.”
One thousand four hundred fifty-eight days to go until the next presidential election, by the way.
News Headline: “Texas Republicans threaten to secede from U.S. after Obama victory.”
Yes. But is there a downside?
News Headline: “Detroit suburb sees murder spike since police layoffs.”
Wait. You have something against smaller government?
News Headline: “Study: Cardiac arrest more common in young than thought.”
QT will refrain from asking:
Can we look forward to the day when thought is more common in the young than cardiac arrest?
No. You will not see such a cheap shot from QT.
News Headline: “New Madrid Fault active? 4.3 quake strikes Kentucky.”
To review: The New Madrid Fault, located in the central United States, is the nation’s most destructive earthquake fault.
Its last major quake 200 years ago changed the course of the Mississippi River, rang church bells in Boston and knocked bison from their feet in Nebraska.
But there is no cause for concern.
Scientists say there is only a 10 percent chance of another major quake any moment now.
A Tea Party activist’s post-election Internet announcement:
“All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Democrats are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them.”
Some lucky family members there.
And friends.
News Item: Former Seattle Mariners first baseman John Olerud wins ruling that will force neighbor to remove two trees partially obstructing his view of Lake Washington.
This is good as far as it goes.
But it might be taken a step further.
Isn’t Olerud’s house obstructing the view of at least two fine trees?
News Headline: “Tea Party vows to hijack GOP in time for next election.”
Democratic Party leaders want to know if there is anything they can do to help.
Please. Don’t hesitate to ask.
QT What Passes for Miracles These Days Update:
An image of the Virgin Mary has appeared in the stains on a window curtain in Oklahoma City.
News Headline: “Naked robbers lead police to baby alligator.”
There is probably an interesting story behind that.
Beware the ides of National Model Railroad Train Month.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Jerry King, an Evergreen Park reader, regarding QT’s noting that peas are a fruit, writes:
“You seem to be overly enamored with the botanical terms for items that cooks call ‘vegetables.’ In botany, there are no ‘vegetables.’ ”
You are right. QT had in mind the culinary definition of “vegetable.”
In botany, there are no vegetables, as such, but we do have fruits, which comprise the ovaries of plants.
Which makes one of QT’s favorite desserts an ovary compote.
But we move on.
Strawberries are not berries, by the way.
Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Posted on November 12, 2012