By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Marco Rubio’s water break during GOP response goes viral.”
News Headline: “Is Marco Rubio’s water swig a career-ender?”
It should be.
The last thing we need in these dangerous times is a presidential candidate who drinks water.
Wayne LaPierre of the National Rifle Association on why every American should own a gun:
“Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Riots. Terrorists. Gangs. Lone criminals. These are perils we are sure to face.”
Forgot zombies.
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) criticizing President Obama’s proposal to raise the minimum wage above the poverty level:
“He spoke of workers’ minimum wages instead of their maximum potential.”
Almost a slogan.
And shouldn’t this be enough for workers who have almost enough to eat?
News Headline: “Justin Bieber says Black Keys drummer should be ‘slapped around.’ ”
News Headline: “Justin Bieber bares bottom on Instagram.”
News Headline: “The existential ennui of Justin Bieber.”
Speaking of slapping around. . . .
QT Rules of Etiquette for Guys and Dolls:
K.R., a Baltimore reader, regarding QT’s taking a “dim view of President Obama’s wearing white collar with a dinner jacket instead of tails at the Inaugural parties,” writes:
“The collar should be white in either case. It’s the tie that is black with the less formal attire.”
Thank you for allowing QT to correct itself.
And it is always a wing collar with white tie.
And a normal collar with black tie.
As long as we are being correct.
News Headline: “Is Jane Austen overhyped?”
Haven’t you grown weary of hearing about Jane Austen every time you turn around?
QT News Presented Without Comment:
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said she opposes a cut in congressional pay because it would diminish “the dignity of the job.”
News Headline: “Study: 3 million political ads in 2012.”
Really? Seemed like only 2 million.
News Headline: “Ted Nugent declares ‘I will either be dead or in jail’ if Obama is re-elected.”
News Headline: “Not dead and not in jail: Nugent attends SOTU.”
Dead. Jailed.
Can you blame Nugent for putting these off?
News Headline: “Pope says he will be ‘hidden to the world’ in retirement.”
Or there is always a third approach. . . .
When did shyness become social anxiety disorder, and when can we have shyness back?
News Headline: “Floods: A disaster waiting to happen.”
News Headline: “Japan debt a disaster waiting to happen.”
Nice thing about a disaster: It can be patient.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: “. . . the potential to create a Frankenstein. . . .”
L.R., a Chicago reader, wants you to know that Frankenstein wasn’t a monster.
Dr. Frankenstein was the man who created Frankenstein’s monster.
There is no such thing as a third alternative, by the way.
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Posted on February 15, 2013