By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Obama asks backers to push Congress on gun control.”
Typical of the man.
These are senators and representatives who have been bought by the gun lobby.
And they will stay bought.
Integrity still means something on Capitol Hill.
News Headline: “17-year-old dead in shooting after Chicago high school game.”
News Headline: “One dead, two injured in Wilkes-Barre shootings.”
News Headline: “Two dead after separate college shootings.”
News Headline: “Two dead in Milwaukee shootings.”
News Headline: “One dead, one injured in Las Vegas shootings.”
News Headline: “1 dead, 2 injured in shootings in north Fla.”
News Headline: “Shootings leave two dead in Dallas”
News Headline: “2 dead in Wadesboro shootings.”
News Headline: “Shootings in Ga. bar leave 1 dead, 6 injured.”
News Headline: “Two dead in unrelated shootings in Tabor City.”
News Headline: “One dead, one wounded in. . . .”
Happy National Gun Appreciation Day Eve.
News Item: Comcast lauds “new technology” in reducing service windows to two hours.
Kids, go find grandpa.
Ask him about the time before new technology when companies made and kept appointments for specific times.
News Item: “. . . take the debt ceiling off the table. . . .”
News Item: “. . . bring the debt ceiling to the floor. . . .”
News Item: “. . . debt ceiling windows that stay open only so long. . . .”
News Item: “. . . the debt ceiling hinges on. . . .”
We’ve already noted that that a ceiling weakened with windows might be expected to collapse to the table and then to the floor.
Well. Especially after its hinges give way.
Who designs these debt ceilings?
Oh. Right.
Tom Nee, an Oak Lawn reader, regarding QT’s noting that there is probably an interesting story behind the headline “Man arrested after running naked in law firm,” suggests it wouldn’t be the first time a man has entered a law firm and left with nothing.
News Headline: “Whole Foods CEO says he regrets calling Obamacare ‘fascist.'”
You may have shopped at one of his stores.
And seen proof that Congress has yet to pass an Affordable Food Act.
News Headline: “Woman’s water breaking on dance floor leads to man shot in buttocks.”
As the Founding Fathers envisioned when they ratified the Second Amendment.
Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =
A New Orleans burglar put a bucket over his head to disguise himself from store security cameras, lifting the front of the bucket only a couple of times to see where he was going.
News Item: “. . . in an appeal to the low-information voter. . . .”
News Item: “. . . might be a surprise to the novice news consumer. . . .”
We’re always looking for new ways to say it.
Who likes to say “ignoramus”?
The number of Google hits for “tap-dancing militant Islamic fundamentalists” is at 2,830 and climbing, for those keeping track.
There remain 0 Google hits for “informed and honest national discussion about the national debt.”
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ The United States exported 441,130 tons of beet pulp in 2007.
+ A viscount outranks a baron.
News Headline: “Paris Hilton’s plea to Kim Kardashian.”
There probably isn’t an interesting story behind that.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: “. . . mentioned frequently in his three-hour peroration. . . .”
News Item: “. . . sit quietly through another five-hour peroration. . . .”
M.R., a Chicago reader, wants you to know that a peroration is not a long-winded speech but the conclusion of a speech.
Something that is jury-rigged, by the way, is not always jerry-built.
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Posted on January 18, 2013