By Zay N. Smith
News Item: Right-wing theorists claim President Obama used a classified military project investigating the upper atmosphere–the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program–to create Hurricane Sandy for political purposes.
Interesting.
But it is well settled that gays cause hurricanes.
Let’s not turn our backs on science, shall we?
News Headline:
Sorry.
You will not find any headlines about a former Greek health minister who has just resigned from her party to protest budget austerity.
And what the world’s headline writers have against Mariliza Xenogiannakopoulou, QT will never know.
News Headline: “Did Mitt Romney get away with keeping his tax returns secret?”
Looks like.
We may always have to wonder what Romney got away with in his financial dealings that he got away with in his tax returns that he got away with keeping secret.
Not that he has anything to hide.
K.S., a Nashville, Tenn., reader, regarding QT’s wondering, if a group of larks is an exaltation of larks, what a group of politicians should be called, writes:
“A balderdash of politicians.”
Or. . . .
Pots, Kettles and Other Kitchenware in the News:
Rush Limbaugh this week called New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie “fat and a fool.”
News Item: “. . . Sgt. Adam Steig said the woman was completely nude and running in and out of traffic in the parking lot when she was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. . . .”
. . . by police who evidently do not leap to conclusions.
News Headline: “Hurricane Sandy disrupts climate change vigil in Boston.”
News Headline: “Noah’s Ark film set shut down due to flooding from Hurricane Sandy.”
Say this for Sandy:
Not every hurricane has such a richly ironic sense of humor.
News Headline: “Hungry New Yorkers eating out of dumpsters.”
Which is a headline that could have been written six months ago.
Or could be written six months from now.
QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) Update:
Earthquakes at Yellowstone more than doubled from 56 in September to 128 in October.
But not to worry.
Scientists assure us there is no evidence that earthquake swarms are warnings of an eruption.
Or as one put it:
“We don’t know exactly what will be precursory.”
See?
We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
A small child who becomes frightened at night and crawls into bed with his parents is not seeking comfort, according to clinical psychologists, but practicing “reactive co-sleeping.”
News Headline: “Manure management meeting ends on ugly note.”
Some campaign events go better than others.
QT What Passes for Miracles These Days Update:
An image of Jesus has been found on a dirty tea towel in Coventry, England.
QT Vote Count Countdown Update:
Thirty-five days have passed since Mitt Romney started avoiding all questions from reporters.
Not that he has anything to hide.
News Headline: “Rapper Shyne endorses Romney.”
News Headline: “Madonna endorses Obama again.”
News Headline: “Justin Bieber endorses Proactiv skin care.”
Four days to go.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Beverly Feldt, a Homewood reader, regarding QT’s liking for Taco Bell’s “grilled carne asada steak tacos,” or grilled grilled steak steak tacos, wants you to know that a “PIN number” is a personal identification number number.
The Los Altos Hills in California are The The Hills Hills, by the way.
Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Posted on November 2, 2012