By Zay N. Smith
News Item: “Chief Justice John Roberts got it right this time–but President Barack Obama appeared to stumble over the word ‘states’ during his ceremonial swearing-in. . . .”
Now why did he stumble on this word?
Let’s see . . . states. . . states. . . states’ rights. . . rights of the people. . . rights of the people trampled by secret plan to bring in U.N. troops during second term to confiscate firearms and. . . .
No wonder he stumbled.
And he almost got it past us, too.
News Headline: “Inauguration 2013: Tweets from NJ politicians.”
It may be safe to move on to other stories now.
News Headline: “FDA aims to reduce overmedication in elderly.”
News Headline: “ADHD in children jumps 24 percent in year, study says.”
We have to overmedicate somewhere, don’t we?
News Headline: “Boeing battery-fire probe gets tricky.”
Please. There is no cause for concern here.
Meanwhile, QT has a train to catch.
We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
A University of Colorado study has recommended that teachers stop using red ink to correct student work because the color red subjects students to “emotional loading” that can make them feel “shouted at,” damaging their self-esteem.
D.W., a Denver reader, regarding QT’s mention that a case of vandalism by fruit-throwers in New Rochelle, N.Y., had caused police to investigate persimmons of interest, writes:
“Witnesses said they saw a suspicious pear lurking in the area.”
Or. . . .
News Item: “A shooting on a Texas community college campus wounded at least two people Tuesday and sent students fleeing for. . . .”
Then again, does this even qualify as news anymore?
News Headline: “Police renew push to resolve case of stolen rare foot-tall porcelain Oprah doll.”
The reassuring news here being that foot-tall porcelain Oprah dolls are rare.
News Item: “. . . wedding guests crowded closer to the officers. . . standing back-to-back over a now-handcuffed. . . crowd assaulted the. . . pelting them with ice and liquids. . . officers called for backup. . . . .”
It’s the little things that go wrong at weddings that can provide our most treasured memories.
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Atheism is a capital crime in Afghanistan, Iran, the Maldives, Mauritania, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and Sudan.
+ Neanderthals were prone to ear infections.
News Headline: “Clarksville police arrest intoxicated zombie shouter.”
There is probably an interesting story behind that.
From Poor QT’s Almanack:
On this day in history 200 years ago an earthquake occurred in the Middle West’s New Madrid Fault that changed the course of the Mississippi River and toppled chimneys as far away as Maine, but be assured that a sixfold increase in tremors over the past decade has not affected the geological assessment that there is only a 10 percent chance of any new major quakes in the next 50 years, which includes any moment now.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Dave Carr, an Owen Sound, Ontario, reader, regarding QT’s wondering what comes before preantepenultimate, which comes before antepenultimate, which comes before penultimate, which comes before ultimate, writes:
“Suprapreantepenutlitmate?”
QT suspects we have not heard the last of this.
Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
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Posted on January 23, 2013