By Zay N. Smith
News Item: “. . . In the poll, 48 percent say Obama is pursuing a path to unify the country in a bipartisan way, while 43 percent say he’s taking a partisan approach that doesn’t unify the country. . . .”
So here is where we are at:
Americans are evenly divided about unity.
News Headline: “Scalia on Voting Rights Act: ‘perpetuation of racial entitlement.'”
Makes a person think back to the Declaration of Independence and its unalienable entitlements.
News Headline: “Critics say Obama fear-mongering on sequester.”
The critics are right.
We need to calm down.
Just think of this as kicking the IED down the road.
George Smith, a Glendale Heights reader, regarding another reader’s mention that the mislabeling of fish in restaurants and grocery stores caused officials to schedule a herring and QT’s asking everyone to please stop playing with fish names, writes:
“Anchovy begin our subjection to a long list of. . . .”
+ R.M., a Las Vegas reader, writes:
“This whole thing has a certain smelt to it.”
+ Phil Halprin, a Schaumburg reader, writes:
“Don’t be koi. Let your readers send in all their suggestions and put them in a roe.”
This scampi happening.
If anyone out there can find a way to stop this, let minnow.
News Headline (2011): “Dog steps on gun, shoots Utah hunter in buttocks.”
News Headline (2012): “Dog shoots man in French hunting accident.”
News Headline (2013): “Dog shoots Florida man accidentally, police say.”
Once again, and think carefully:
How well do you know your dog?
How well, really?
News Headline: “Do guns make us safer?”
News Headline: “Texas school worker shot during gun safety class.”
Asked and answered.
The Not Me Decade, in Which Everybody Else Is Responsible for Everything, Continues:
An Idaho man injured when he was hit by a foul ball at a minor league baseball game is suing the stadium because he wasn’t sufficiently warned that a fan attending a baseball game might be hit by a foul ball.
News Headline: “Pope Benedict XVI will have to give up red shoes, shoulder cape.”
News Headline: “Pope Benedict ring to be destroyed on final day of term.”
News Headline: “Vatican deletes Pope Benedict tweets.”
C’mon. Leave him something.
News Headline: “Is Pope Benedict the Vatican’s Nixon?”
No. Nixon got to keep his shoes.
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Dr. Seuss first intended his name to rhyme with “voice.”
+ James Madison’s last words were: “I always talk better lying down.”
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Headline: “U.S. smartphone users most video-centric.”
News Headline: “Threat-centric security: Before, during and after attack.”
News Headline: “Owners of WMCS-AM drop African-American-centric format.”
News Headline: “Best Justin Bieber-centric SNL episodes.”
Let’s think of Justin Bieber-centric as the breaking-point-centric moment.
A cohort isn’t a person, by the way, but a group of persons.
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Posted on March 1, 2013