By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Church steeples rented out as cell phone towers.”
And don’t think the sexting community isn’t grateful.

···
Joe Lueken, owner of supermarkets in Minnesota and North Dakota, on why he will transfer ownership to his 400 employees upon retirement:
“My employees are largely responsible for any success I’ve had, and they deserve to get some of the benefits of that.”
Lueken knows an important truth about free enterprise:
He built that.
And so did they.

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Posted on November 30, 2012

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Can books endure in a 140-character world?”
So. Let’s see.
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago–never mind how long precisely–having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me o
Well. OK.
Maybe not.
Moby-Dick is 8,609 tweets long, by the way.

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Posted on November 28, 2012

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Christmas season is finally here.”
News Headline: “Man punched in face, pulls gun on line-cutting shopper.”
News Headline: “Shots fired outside Walmart.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

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Posted on November 26, 2012

. . . the weekend of which QT is taking off.
See you on, well, Happy Monday!
Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
Visit QT at facebook.com/zaynsmithqt
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Posted on November 23, 2012

By Zay N. Smith

Happy (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Thanksgiving!

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Posted on November 21, 2012

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Walmart kicking off Christmas shopping earlier than ever.”
News Headline: “Target is the latest retailer planning to open Thanksgiving.”
News Headline: “Nordstrom not decorating for Christmas until after Thanksgiving.”
Is it possible to have a department store chain as a hero?
Yes. It is.

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Posted on November 19, 2012

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Mitt Romney blames loss on Obama ‘gifts’ to blacks, Hispanics, young voters.”
Romney’s campaign autobiography No Apology is now ranked 601,550th on the Amazon best-seller list, for those keeping track.

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Posted on November 16, 2012

By Zay N. Smith

Asteroid 2012 VJ38 was discovered yesterday.
It is passing between Earth and the moon as you read this.
But think nothing of it.

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Posted on November 14, 2012

By Zay N. Smith

President Obama at Veterans Day ceremonies:
“Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.”
This is how the words sound while military veterans wait an average of eight months– sometimes much more–to be processed for disability and other benefits.
To be fair, Obama can cite reasons why the delays continue.
These include blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. . . .

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Posted on November 12, 2012

By Zay N. Smith

+ Rush Limbaugh the day before election day:
“All of my thinking says Romney big.”
+ Rush Limbaugh as the polls were about to close::
“I could be proven tonight to be so wrong and so all wet that nobody should be listening to me.”
So your duty is clear, Dittoheads.
You do follow directions, don’t you?

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Posted on November 9, 2012