Plus: The World’s Worst Chicago-Style Hot Dog

1. Hooters Revamps Its Look, Aims To Be A Family Breastaurant, Er, Restaurant.
This can only work if they hire owls to replace their current waitstaff.
2. 3D Printed Chocolate Objects: Hershey Partners With 3D Systems.
PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?
3. White Castle Named “Most Influential” Burger Of All Time.
Only in the after-midnight category. McDonald’s, obviously.

4. Red Lobster to Be Split From Darden’s Empire.
No longer family to Olive Garden.
5. Bee People.
“The sentiment behind Asheville Bee Charmer, a store slated to open in March on Haywood Road, isn’t solely sweet,” the Black Mountain News reports.

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Posted on January 27, 2014

By Helene Smith

Chicago buffet.
(ENLARGE FOR PROPER VIEWING)

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Posted on January 24, 2014

By Helene Smith

Local purveyor of fine goods and accessories designed to restore the whimsical nature with which you arrived on the planet is departing. We say our goodbyes in a series of photos.

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Posted on January 23, 2014

By Helene Smith

Wise man.
(ENLARGE FOR PROPER VIEWING)

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Posted on January 17, 2014

Treatment Center In Lemont Gaining Celebrity Status

Ke$ha has now been joined in rehab by her moms at Timberline Knolls, forever giving the treatment center in Lemont a boost in its Google search rankings.
Timberline Knolls is serious business, though. Let’s take a look.

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Posted on January 14, 2014

By J.J. Tindall

A Mind of Winter
It was written, once,
in America, that
“one must have a mind
of winter…
and have been cold
a long time…
not to think

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Posted on January 13, 2014

By Helene Smith

Chicago-style.
(ENLARGE FOR PROPER VIEWING)

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Posted on January 10, 2014

Plus: Bacon Vs. Peanut Butter Pop Tarts

1. Is Kraft Really Running Out Of Velveeta?

“It’s not a seasonal product,” says Ken Albala, a culinary historian who teaches a class on ‘History of Food’ at University of the Pacific in Stockton, Ca. “There is no dish served between Thanksgiving and Christmas that is quintessentially Velveeta.”
What’s more, says Albala, if there’s one cheese product on the planet that should never run out, it’s Velveeta. “The whole point of Velveeta is you keep it on the shelf indefinitely. It’s the cheese for people who don’t know how to cook.”

Also, Velveeta’s YouTube Channel Is Titled Eat Liquid Gold.

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Posted on January 8, 2014

By The Chicago Film Laboratory And The National Women’s Christian Temperance Union

Temperance as an antidote to juvenile delinquency.

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Posted on January 7, 2014

By J.J. Tindall

The muses dance and sing.

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Posted on January 5, 2014