By Rick Kaempfer

“This debate is occurring because of the Supreme Court’s ruling that said that we must conduct ourselves under the Common Article III of the Geneva Convention. And that Common Article III says that there will be no outrages upon human dignity. It’s very vague. What does that mean, ‘outrages upon human dignity’? That’s a statement that is wide open to interpretation. And what I’m proposing is that there be clarity in the law so that our professionals will have no doubt that that which they are doing is legal.”
– President George W. Bush, September 15, 2006
Some clarity:

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Posted on September 19, 2006

By J. Bird

Today was the breaking point. I couldn’t get out of bed until quarter to three, and I never got out of my pajamas. And for those of you with inquiring minds, no, I don’t mean cute little jammies covered with sheep jumping over clouds. I mean baggy old cotton pants and a ragged out long-sleeved t-shirt. Sheesh.

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Posted on September 19, 2006

By J. Bird

I think it’s Day Three without a reason to set the alarm, grumble about having to roll out of bed, dress up, and make my way downtown – but I’m not really sure. Unemployment It’s taking its toll already. I’ve lost the ability to distinguish between weekday and weekend.

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Posted on September 18, 2006

By J. Bird

I’m not really sure how to classify today. Yesterday I had that “get-up-n-go” attitude, but that might have had something to do with needing to get downtown and collect my pay. Today – Day Two of Life (Not) at Work – I didn’t.

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Posted on September 15, 2006

By J. Bird

After originally saying I would work through my severance period, I came to my senses and realized that I damn well deserved a couple of days off to mope, and a couple of weeks off to look for a new job. In a short while, I will go in to collect my severance check, which will hopefully pay a few bills.
I have, to date, sent out more than a dozen resumes online, but I’ve heard these online resume dealies don’t often come through. It’s all about networking, and, being a total introvert, I may be screwed. I know about 15 people in the City of Chicago, and I’m related to seven of those. Maybe I should have attended some of those alumni events after all.

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Posted on September 14, 2006

By J. Bird

Okay, Bird’s in a real pickle. While your feathered friend didn’t get “fired” or “terminated” (the boss’ words), I will, in the shortly forseeable future, be forced to find other employment, mainly due to not being the “right fit”.
This could be a marvelous thing. On some levels, I’m elated. But on the levels that have to do things like pay the bills, and find a new job, and so forth, I’m definitely saying “Oh, fuck.”

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Posted on September 13, 2006

Life at work sucked today. J. Bird will return Wednesday if sufficiently recovered.
In the meantime, catch up with the Life at Work archive.

Posted on September 12, 2006

By J. Bird

The Bird felt like total crap at 5:30 in the morning today, which isn’t totally unusual, except for the scratchy throat and coughing up of nasty goop. One look at the weather confirmed it. Bird was not going to work today.
The Boss was not happy. He believes Bird gets sick too often. But Bird’s thought is that it is better to stay home and take care of oneself one day than come to work and feel sick for days at a time until Bird has to stay in the nest for numerous days, plus pay for a visit to the doctor and take nasty antibiotics.

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Posted on September 11, 2006

By J. Bird

Okay, I’ve finally found something that’s more frustrating than a boss in a shitty mood, a co-worker who listens to Enya, and a busybody office manager, and it’s something that – unless you’re one of the powerful few in IT – you have absolutely no control over. You can avoid your boss, throw Enya in the shredder, and ignore the office manager, but you can’t do a goddamn thing when your office’s Internet goes down.

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Posted on September 8, 2006

By J. Bird

I was pretty stoked for today’s column til today turned out to be one of those days that just hammers away at you from the minute you walk in the door til the minute your boss says “Sayonara” and there’s only an hour left in the day, and your “IN” box is still piled high.
All the same, I think today’s topic is a pretty important one that impacts most of us in the working world, so I’m going to take a few minutes to address it.
Work has turned us all into schizophrenics. No, I’m not talking about clinically diagnosable mentally ill people, and I don’t want to use the term lightly, but working in an office, unless it brings more meaning to your life than it does to most people’s, forces you to split and splinter your personality until you don’t really know who you are or who you’re supposed to be.

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Posted on September 7, 2006