Chicago - A message from the station manager
People, Places & Things

The Modern Mommy Track

By Julia Gray

Lately, I’ve been hearing a great deal about push presents, mommy makeovers, and hipster babies. I’m always curious about new trends so I thought I’d do a little digging to see what the hubbub is all about. From what I found out, it’s apparent that the miracle of birth does not provide enough satisfaction to some parents. Also, since new moms have less than a nanosecond to get back to their pre-baby weight, there are doctors who can help new moms with that “problem.” Then, there are the parents who don’t want to lose their coolness, so their spawn seem like mini-versions of themselves complete with baby UGG booties and Clash onesies.

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Posted on October 9, 2007

Open Letter

Dear Washlet Company:

Who knew there could be anything more annoying in this benighted world than the classic 70s yellow smiley face? Yet that phenomenon does exist: your ads for the Washlet.
As anyone who has looked at any website in the past few months knows, Washlet ads feature physically fit, mostly female butts with a smiley face drawn on them. They look like pages out of a very staid porno magazine that’s been found by some kids with magic markers. One keeps hoping to see a beard, glasses or big nose scrawled on these posteriors as well, but no – it’s always the irritating smiley faces and your vaguely menacing motto, “Clean is happy.” Are you sure you didn’t get that out of Animal Farm?

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Posted on October 4, 2007

The Making of Aviation Music

By The Aviation Genre Affairs Desk

The following press release introducing a new genre of music based on Aviation, may be of interest to your audience. Any editorial comment or mention that you may give this press release would be greatly appreciated.
– – –
THE MAKING OF AVIATION MUSIC
Dateline: October 3, 2007 . . . Wavre, Belgium
Contact: Bruno Misonne
E-mail: info@brunomisonne.com
Web Address: www.brunomisonne.com
WAVRE, BELGIUM – October 3, 2007 – You need to strap yourself in. This is no ordinary flight. This flight will soar above and beyond the limits of known musical genres. Our pilot for this trip is none other than Belgium’s remarkable composer, Bruno Misonne. Bruno is the creator of an entirely new genre of music based on Aviation.

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Posted on October 3, 2007

The Pueblo 10

By The Pueblo News Affairs Desk

Top ten highlights from the Fall 2007 Consumer Information Catalog from Pueblo, Colorado. Order yours now from the federal government for free.
* How to Maintain Your Tires. Get the best mileage and the most use out of your tires with these tips on inflating, rotating, and evaluating them properly.
* Get Net Safe. Offers some easy ways to help keep you, your computer, and your family safer when you go online.
* How to Get a Job in the Federal Government. Here’s a step-by-step plan to find and apply for federal jobs, with detailed information on finding openings, understanding vacancy announcements, developing your resume, and more.

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Posted on October 1, 2007

Chicagoetry: The Hawk

By J.J. Tindall

The Hawk
Faces in the bitter cold
crowd:
A frozen bough breaks
under a murder
of sleek crows. Rooks
shriek beneath
the black-winged
clouds.

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Posted on September 27, 2007

Chicagoetry: Ode To Lyndon Baines Johnson

By J.J. Tindall

Ode To Lyndon Baines Johnson
I dig that we have a history of talking Presidents into
lousy wars. We have WMD, he had Tonkin. His People kept insisting we could win in Viet Nam, then,
when they realized we were hosed,
they
scattered. Dig a Lonely Texas President. Wow: Democrats
do it,
too!

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Posted on September 26, 2007

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