By The  Special Guests  Publicity Service

Is the True Sabbath Saturday or Sunday?
This Easter, billions of Christians will celebrate resurrection Sunday. But is Sunday the true Sabbath as set forth in the bible?
Jews celebrate Saturday as the Sabbath. So do 7th-Day Adventist Christians.
An excellent article on this topic was published in WorldNetDaily, written by executive news editor, Joe Kovacs, posted March 16, 2008, titled, ““‘Deception’: Christians war over worship day. Centuries-old clash continues over disputed commandment.””

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Posted on March 21, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

THE GOVERNOR’S WHORE
I think that I shall never see a poem nauseating
as a fake, business-arrangement marriage.
Thank CHRIST the truth comes out once in awhile,
like, nauseatingly self-righteous assholes and their
LOUSY, miserable marriages, with which they seize
the moral
high ground, looking down their noses at single men
and women who just happened to decide NOT TO BE
FUCKING MISERABLE . . .

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Posted on March 20, 2008

Dear Laurence Msall:

I am shocked and appalled by your callous disregard for the welfare of the citizens of Cook County. Let’s review:
* Your Civic Federation has long supported transferring management of the Cook County Bureau of Health Services from the Cook County Board of Commissioners to a separate group of actual health care professionals. That goal was finally achieved as a compromise in the Board’s recent 2008 budget agreement, in order to win Commissioner Larry Suffredin’s vote for County President Todd Stroger’s odious increase in the county sales tax.
* The Civic Federation and Friends of the Forest Preserves have just come out with a report advocating that governance of the “beleaguered” Cook County Forest Preserves also be wrenched from the Cook County Board, and handed to a separate elected Forest Preserve board.
* The Civic Federation’s analysis of Stroger’s originally proposed 2008 budget called for “privatizing the delivery of programs or functions for which a competitive private sector exists,” up to and including County print shops.
Trees, sick people, anyone who needs a quick Xerox – these you deem important enough to protect from the villainous Cook County Board. But not the average Cook County citizen? Where is your compassion? Please, Mr. Msall. Don’t leave us behind. The next step for the Civic Federation should be obvious: You must call for the Cook County Board to relinquish its authority to a newly-formed elected body. As your report on the forest preserves put it, “A separate board will allow voters to elect Commissioners on the basis of candidates’ positions, credentials, experience and interest in the forest preserves.” Just take out the “forest preserves” part and insert “welfare of Cook County”.

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Posted on March 19, 2008

Part One  Departure   By Leigh Novak

Maybe the sun will shine today
the clouds will blow away . . .
It was pissing rain when I drove away from Chicago. It felt like a sort of turned-shoulder send-off from my hometown as I headed west with all my life crammed into my two-door hatchback, en route to Seattle. Or maybe it was a fuck you, get used to it type of thing; a nod to the city notorious for rain and depression. All the same, I can accept that, as I sit here and watch the downpour out my window in Washington.

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Posted on March 17, 2008

By The Beachwood Environmentally Friendly Luxury Items Affairs Desk

The following press release announcing advancements by one business owner to make hot tubs more economical and environmentally friendly may be of interest to your audience. Any editorial comment or mention that you may give this press release would be greatly appreciated.
– – –
PORTABLEHOTTUBSNOW.COM GOES GREEN
Dateline: North Tonawanda, NY
Web Address: Portablehottubsnow.com
NORTH TONAWANDA, NY – March 14, 2008 – Portablehottubsnow.com goes green. Bonnie Feltz, owner of portablehottubsnow.com is doing her part to conserve energy and save vital natural resources. Bonnie is looking into providing solar panels, generators and covers, making the hot tubs not only more economical but environmentally friendly.

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Posted on March 14, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

PINDARIC ODE TO EVERETT McKINLEY DIRKSEN
My man: you make Chicago proud.
Nobody, dude, and I mean NOBODY, remembers who you are.
I fucking do:
Horse-trading, WITH CIVILITY,
with LBJ over bourbon,
trading judges for votes.

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Posted on March 13, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

GIMME BACK MY BULLETS
Put ’em back where they belong.
I ran to a gangfight and a
classroom broke out. HO-la!
I shouted out
DRUGS FOR
WHITEY!!!

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Posted on March 11, 2008

Dear Urban Bicyclists:

Yes, yes, we know: You’re better than us. You care about the planet. You have a vast wardrobe of colorful biking outfits that you imagine make you look like you’re racing up an Alp in the Tour de France rather than the gentle slope of a paltry Lake Shore Drive overpass. You assume the people you leave in your two-wheel wake are marveling at the reds, greens and oranges, envying you.
We’re not. We’re thinking that most of you are a bunch of smug, self-satisfied, frequently dangerous jerks. We’re thinking you should lose about ten pounds before subjecting the world to those bike pants again. We’re wondering how you manage to keep on that ten extra pounds if you’re so damn active and healthy and wonderful.
That’s just a small part of what makes Mayor Daley’s proposed new ordinance for fining cars that even come close to bikes so incredibly annoying.

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Posted on March 7, 2008

By Nikki Golden

For those of you keeping tabs of the hour-by-hour coverage of the Tony Rezko trial, you might be thinking to yourself, “That can’t be the way they select a jury for such an important, much-discussed trial.”
You’d be partially correct. That’s actually the way jury selection goes for all trials.
*
I have always wanted to serve on a jury, so when the notice finally arrived in my mailbox, I was hyperexcited. After having seen the process, however, I’m a little saddened. Some things I learned:
1. A lot of people apparently don’t know the process of the trial – the fact that there is a defendant and plaintiff, what a civil trial is versus criminal, and what the judge’s and jury’s role is in the process. Thankfully, when you first show up, Lester Holt, who as far as I know hasn’t been a Chicago anchor – nor had a mustache – since about 2000, narrates a video that describes to you the whole process so you will know what’s going on.

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Posted on March 6, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

AFTER MIDNIGHT IN THE LATIN QUARTER
At midnight, the weather broke
in two, and warmth gushed in. I and I
were flushed out into the night.
I floated down North Avenue,
walking past a number of selves –
one drunk, hammered, maybe nineteen –
through the Latin Quarter.
Along the blue-black thoroughfare:
dollar stores, Mexican restaurants,
liquor stores, Puerto Rican restaurants,

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Posted on March 5, 2008