The News From Pueblo  Colorado

* Caring for Sports Injuries
* Indoor Air Hazards You Should Know About
* Burial Guide For Arlington National Cemetery
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1. CARING FOR SPORTS INJURIES
If you want to dance like a star or shoot hoops like a pro, you need to be prepared for injuries. Don’t take valuable time away from the dance floor or the court because you get hurt – learn how to recognize injuries and how to heal faster once they happen. Caring for Sports Injuries, a free package of brochures from the National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases and the Federal Citizen Information Center is just what you need to get yourself back in top form.

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Posted on May 30, 2008

By The Special Guests Publicity Service

Homeschoolers Banned from Contest
The sandwich chain Subway is having a contest for kids to see who can submit the best story (in writing) given four storyline premises. The contest is open to everyone, except home-schoolers.
Representatives from the Home School Legal Defense Association are available to discuss this overt act of discrimination on the part of Subway. The name of the contest is “Every Sandwich Tells a Story” and the grand prize is $5,000 worth of athletic equipment for the winning child’s school.
The presumption is that the reason for the exclusion is that there would be no school for to which such students could donate the equipment. That rationale is not passing the litmus test for home-schoolers or the HSLDA.
Here is a letter sent by HSLDA President Michael Smith to Subway:

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Posted on May 29, 2008

By The Special Guests Publicity Service

Outspoken conservative political activist Gary Cass claims that since there are no true Christian Presidential Candidates in either major party, it is of the utmost importance for us to elect a true Christian vice president.
During your Talk Show interview with Gary, he explains that while Obama and Hillary say with their lips that they are Christians, with their actions they both advance non-Christian policies such as abortion and homosexuality.
Although John McCain supports some Christian policies, he refuses to comment on his religion.
Therefore, Christians in the United States are not being represented by the current front-runner Presidential candidates.

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Posted on May 27, 2008

By The Beachwood Beloved Affairs Desk

He deserves a response, don’t you think?
*
Dear Beloved,
I greet you in the name of God Almighty.
I got your contact through prayers and painstaking efforts in my search for a reliable and God fearing person to help me carry out my last wish.
My name is Mr. halifer kabal, from omani. Presently, I am in London where I am receiving medical care.
Prior to my ailment, I was a merchant and business owner in Malaysia and Dubai, the United Arab Emirates. I was also married with five children. My wife and five children died in a bomb blast in Iraq where there reside four years ago. Before this happened, my business and concern for making money was all I lived for. I never really cared about other values in life. But since the loss of my family, I have found a new desire to assist helpless families. I have been helping orphans in orphanage/motherless homes.

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Posted on May 24, 2008

By J.J. Tindall

DIVISION STREET: TWO AMERICAS
This side the dark and hollow bound
lies there no unexplored ground?
1986: Ashland to Western,
Freedom Fighter Promenade.
Poets, musicians, crack whores and junkies,
teachers and tradesmen smarting from the
Clampdown, finding communion.
Fighting to be free,
freedom of EXPRESSION, freedom from
OPPRESSION.

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Posted on May 21, 2008

Part Seven  Baseball   By Leigh Novak

No teenage girl on the day of her prom could have kept up with my own exuberance and adrenalized glee on a recent Friday: The White Sox were coming to town.
And they expected me to sit through work that Friday – a day whose minutes were lazier than Dali’s clocks – and actually get something done. I got all of 45 solid minutes of work in that day, between baseball chat coffee breaks (killing time with my former South-Sider office buddy, both of us head-to-toe in the other team’s gear) and just to keep par as the classiest mo-fo in the office, sending out office e-mails with a picture of Osama bin Laden in a Cubs turban saying, “You can’t get pumped about the Sox without hating the Cubs a little in the process!”

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Posted on May 20, 2008

By The Beachwood Amusement Park Affairs Desk

“Tribune Company today announced that Mark Shapiro, a native Chicagoan, has been elected to the company’s board of directors. Shapiro is president and chief executive officer of Six Flags, Inc., the world’s largest regional amusement park company, a position he has held since December 2005.”
– May 9 press release
Among the proposals Shapiro brings to the table:
* Teacup delivery trucks.
* Tribune Tower transformed into Hurricane Mountain.
* Lou Piniella’s Wild Ride!
* Raise price of paper to an E ticket.
* Knock over the milk bottles and win a lifetime subscription.

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Posted on May 15, 2008

By The Special Guests Publicity Service

America to Decide on May 19
Into the life of every nation comes a deciding event, a milestone moment when the eternal destiny of a people may be decided. When America is weighed in God’s balance, will it be found wanting? Or will our citizens finally declare, “Enough,” and take back this country from the hands of the Internet flesh merchants?
May 19, 2008, is such a pivotal date on the Divine calendar. It is a rare gift, an opportunity to make lasting difference for righteousness in our generation and for those that follow. Promoting and participating in this event is a chance for you to take a stand and be counted.

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Posted on May 14, 2008

By The Beachwood Electromagnetism Affairs Desk

“Fermilab expects to lay off about 140 employees in the coming weeks – about 10 percent of the Batavia physics laboratory’s staff, once retirements and resignations are factored in, an official said Friday.”
Here are some of the other cost-cutting measures Fermilab is considering.
* New partnership between particle accelerator unit and Team Demolition Derby in Joliet.
* Eastern portion of sky declared the Forbidden Zone; will no longer be monitored.
* Subatomic muon particles will be purchased from Third World sweatshops.
* Quark division will be merged with accounting; new double-entry bookkeeping system will feature money that is or isn’t there.
* Roadkill will be used for all Schrodinger experiments instead of live cats.
* Lunch will be ordered from Pizza Hut instead of Tuscani’s.

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Posted on May 12, 2008

By The Special Guests Publicity Service

. . . AS COMMANDED BY THE BIBLE?
Regardless of what religious beliefs anyone in your Talk Show audience may have, there is one common denominator: Prayer. All people of faith are commanded to pray. Moslems are to bow toward Mecca several times a day. Hindus pray to a wide array of “gods” and Christians are commanded to “pray without ceasing.”
But what does it really mean to “pray without ceasing”? Is it even possible?
Answering these questions and more is Theologian/Ethicist Robert Benson, author of the book, In Constant Prayer.

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Posted on May 9, 2008