Chicago -
By David Rutter
The coin of Blago’s realm has become so hopelessly deflated that confused observers are even amazed about his ability to curse, as if he had any skill at it. I say it is the opposite.
The State of the Cursing Union has become so flaccid that the governor’s lame excuse for blue language is given far more credit than it deserves. Ever the hack, the guv apparently wasn’t raised properly.
I was. Lucky the son was taught to cuss properly by his father.
Fathers may teach many skills but the cathartic, cleansing value of expletives well-launched cannot be overstated.
Posted on December 24, 2008
The Latest News From Pueblo Colorado
GUIDE TO TAKING MEDICINE
Sorting through medication labels and managing both over-the-counter and prescription drugs can be very confusing. That’s why the Federal Citizen Information Center and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration’s Office of Women’s Health have put together the Guide to Taking Medicine, a free package of publications that will help you better understand what you need to know before you take any medication.
When you see your doctor, it can be hard to know what to ask about medicines you’re already taking or those being prescribed. Use the fact sheets in the Guide to Taking Medicine package for a list of essential questions. The package also explains how to read prescription medication labels and spot red flags you should follow up on. For example, is your medicine an antibiotic? It’s important to know that antibiotics work differently than other drugs.
Posted on December 17, 2008
By J.J. Tindall
WONDERLAND
So I got fired and may lose my home.
I wonder why it has to be so hard.
The very December wind now hounds me,
chilling visions of homelessness abound.
I wonder “why now?” I wonder “so how
do I party with the holiday crowd?”
Life takes no holiday. Life is this hard.
My sense of self has imploded in shards.
But I must smile my way through the season
and I must guile my way through cold reason.
The garish December sun gives no warmth
though after Solstice light again comes forth . . .
–
Posted on December 16, 2008
By The Special Guests Publicity Service
SAYS NORTH POLE HAS FIVE YEARS TO LIVE!
While In Germany Last Week, Former V.P. Says North Polar Ice Cap Will Be Gone Soon
An “allegory” is a visual symbol representing an abstract idea. It’s also a word that may sufficiently explain Al Gore’s argument that Santa will have to think about relocating.
Rob Roselli is an average American citizen with a civil engineering background that was utilized to unmask the fake science of the scam radical environmental movement and the real intentions of the environmental movement; a group our illustrious new leader embraces. Today, he has reached a point of such concern for his country that it has assumed “top priority” status.
Roselli is convinced that the entire climate change movement is a scam with a much bigger agenda. “People need to open their eyes,” he says, “Never has their been better time for the old Wizard of Oz movie line, ‘pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.’ Besides, all the evidence is showing that the earth has actually been cooling for quite some time now. Mr. Gore better start thinking about getting himself a flamethrower if he wants to bolster his argument.”
Posted on December 15, 2008
By The Beachwood Blago Extortion Affairs Desk
As we all know by now, Gov. Rod Blagojevich is accused in a federal complaint of trying to strong-arm the Tribune Co. into firing a couple of editorial writers in exchange for his help on the sale of Wrigley Field. What not even Patrick Fitzgerald knows is that the Beachwood wiretaps have picked up additional conversations about other things the governor tried to extort from Tribune. Here they are for the first time.
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Fire the statue of that McCormick guy outside the front door, too.
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Get “Nancy” and “Andy Capp” back in the comics.
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A counter-editorial from Tom Skilling saying what a nice guy Blago is.
Posted on December 10, 2008
By The Beachwood Facebook Ethics Affairs Desk
Like many other media organizations, the Tribune Co. is grappling with ethical issues raised by the use of Facebook and other forms of social media by its employees, or, as the case may be, it’s “citizen contributors.” This anonymous, optional survey recently went out to all Triblocal workers and gives you an idea of what concerns the company has. (One can’t help but wonder if this, in part, is what prompted it.) But also note the question about discussing the Tribune in online forums; plans to hire more Triblocal reporters; and the question about whether reporters should also work as marketers.
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This survey is designed to address specific ethics concerns about the print edition of Triblocal and Triblocal.com. Some of the survey questions are multiple choice and others require a brief essay. If you have additional comments please include them in the “Additional Comments on Triblocal Ethics” section at the conclusion of the Ethics Committee Survey.
A. Social Networking Web sites, including Facebook
I. Political Postings
Are political affiliations as broadcasted on Facebook more sensitive than any other affiliations on the site and others like it?
A. Yes
B. No
Posted on December 8, 2008
By The Beachwood Multi Tool Fishing Affairs Desk
Any editorial comment or mention that you may give this press release would be greatly appreciated.
INTRODUCING THE DESIRED DEPTH FISHER FISHING SYSTEM
NEW HAMPSHIRE MAN INVENTS ENVIRONMENT FRIENDLY TIME-SAVING FISHING GEAR
CORNISH, NH – Whether fishing from shorelines of fresh or salt-water or trolling lakes and rivers the Desired Depth Fisher Multi-Tool Fishing System brings new meaning to fishing all the while helping to reduce fish line pollution. The design greatly reduces the loss of yards and yards of fish line compared to traditional fishing methods, when snagged. Only the loss of a short line to the hook or sinker results in lost line when snagged, which is not a common occurrence. Furthermore, the recovery time from a lost hook or sinker is roughly fifteen to thirty seconds. The D.D. Fisher Fishing System is the only product that addresses fish line pollution, directly benefiting our environment and waterways.
Posted on December 8, 2008
By Stephanie B Goldberg
1. RIP, Bratz. I, for one, am going to miss all four of these anime-eyed Pussycat Dolls that inspired their very own American Psychological Association Task Force to investigate their effects on young girls.
And who can forget Bratz: The Movie, with Jon Voight’s Oscar-worthy performance as Principal Dimly? Or those killjoys,
the National Child’s Labor Committee, who claim that Bratz are manufactured in a Chinese sweatshop where women work a 94.5 hour work for $.52 an hour. And perky little Karaoke Jade Bratz, who dropped something that sounded a lot like the F-bomb*, to the consternation of parents everywhere. Next: Little Miss Trailer Trash.
Posted on December 5, 2008
