By J.J. Tindall
Illumination
I strove to summon the gods
with cliches of madness. Pose after pose, put on after put on,
point of view after
point of view.
Then the Old Post Office became a sphinx
in a late dawn
Posted on October 15, 2009
Replacing The Olympic Village
By The Beachwood Village People Affairs Desk
Some ideas for what do to with the plot of land where the Olympic Village would have been built.
* A new federal prison for pols to save on driving so many of them back and forth to Oxford, Yankton and Terre Haute.
* A development owned in part by Michael Scott, Richard Stein, Tim Degnan, Jeremiah Joyce, Robert Vanecko and three mobsters to be named later.
* The Museum of Unbuilt Olympic Villages.
Posted on October 14, 2009
I Am A Security Guard: Origins Part 2
By Jerome Haller
The shift from my old office job to my first security gig proved smooth and pleasant. Training sessions had provided valuable tips about service to clients. The assignment to a condominium building west of the Loop represented proof of a fairy godmother. Most of the tenants were yuppies. I assumed they possessed social skills. I looked forward to handling the job.
On the first day, I arrived in full uniform: a blue blazer, white shirt, black tie, gray slacks, and black shoes.
The supervisor, a short man with a warm smile, showed me around the building. Afterward, he gave me the duties: watch the security monitor, check in visitors, log in deliveries, handle emergency phone calls and write reports. He also introduced me to the other guards and several tenants. Everyone greeted me politely.
Finally, I plunged into the job. I sat by myself at the security desk most of the time. That suited my personality. I tend to be a loner.
The security company’s emphasis on keeping a professional demeanor paid off on a Saturday night.
Posted on October 13, 2009
I Am A Security Guard: Origins Part 1
By Jerome Haller
For 10 years after graduating from college, I earned a decent salary as an office staff person for a downtown company. My duties included answering phones, maintaining office equipment, filing documents, and photocopying paperwork. But the company’s fortunes declined. For first time in my life, I got laid off.
The dismissal initially pleased me. Severance and unemployment benefits helped cushion the blow. I would not miss some of the more immature folks at the old job. I could enjoy some free time while looking for a new position.
But after four months, my feelings changed. A new routine wrecked havoc on my ego; working on my resume, going to the unemployment office, visiting job fairs, and going on interviews. To feel useful again, I took a temp office job. But it lasted only a few weeks. The client couldn’t pay anymore. My confidence had evaporated.
Posted on October 12, 2009
20 Tweets: Bill Rancic
From The Beachwood Tweetdeck
One in a series.
1. G and I r going to check it out this weekend!! RT @JuicyLA: it doesn’t come out till this weekend! silly goose. are you going w/ the wifey
2. Has anyone seen the new movie Couples Retreat?? Looks great, want to check it out this weekend with the wife!!
3. Just wanted 2 say Thank You 2 everyone who watched season1 of G&B Hope2 see U in Jan when Season 2 begins&we enter a new chapter of R lives
4. Tune into the season finale of Giuliana & Bill TONIGHT at 9/8c on Style Network. Info: http://bit.ly/13f4ms #gandb RETWEET TO WIN!
5. Twitter contest! Please Retweet my next Tweet with #gandb to enter for a chance to win a $200 giftcard! For info click http://bit.ly/bYV8U
6. In Little Rock today 2 give a family in need a financial make over & get them back on their feet. What an amazing feelinggradientgivesback
Posted on October 9, 2009
Valuing the Sun-Times
By The Beachwood Newspaper Valuation Desk
Just five years ago, what is now known as the Sun-Times Media Group fetched an offer of $900 million. Today Chicago businessman Jim Tyree is in line to buy the STMG for $26 million. Frankly, that’s kind of pathetic. For comparison’s sake:
* Amount Tribune Co. wants to pay top executives bonuses: $66 million.
* Amount the city is giving to United Airlines to move into Willis Tower: $50 million.
* Amount the Cubs signed Milton Bradley to a three-year contract for: $30 million.
Posted on October 7, 2009
Chicago 2016’s Next Move
By The Beachwood Civic Pride Affairs Desk
Now that Chicago 2016’s Olympic bid has been smacked down worse than Lindsay Lohan’s debut at Fashion World in Paris, many commentators are musing about how to keep the local organizing committee together and redirect its mission toward something good and not evil. Here are some of our suggestions .
* Chicago’s Checkbook 2016. Dedicated to balancing the city’s budget within seven years.
Posted on October 4, 2009
An Olympic Enemies List
By The Beachwood Enemies Of Real Chicagoans Bureau
Nightclub impresario and celebrity ass-nuzzler Billy Dec, who thinks kickn it with Paris Hilton is something to brag about, put together a series of videos from the most noxious Hollywood types who for some reason supported bringing the Olympics here at our expense. Instant enemies list! (You can find the videos at A Chicago Thing, which accurately describes Dec.)
1. David Schwimmer
2. Jeremy Piven
3. Jamie Foxx
4. Dan Aykroyd
5. Rachael Ray
Posted on October 2, 2009
20 Tweets: Billy Dec Olympic Edition
From The Beachwood TweetDeck
One in a series.
1. Ur the BEST assistant in the world! Yo! Every1 follow my WonderWoman! RT @katierosecronin: So tired it hurts, yet still working
2. Morning view from my Sweden hotel room- catchn early train2 Copenhagn4 Chicago2016- be there in 5hrs! http://pic.gd/4f514f
3. Would love2hear ur fav Celeb Video on www.aChicagoThing.com?
4. If DIDN’T get my email of the Celeb addresses who did videos on www.aChicagoThing.com, email myintern@rockitranch.com
5. # “Rescue Me” & “Love Jones” LarenzTate lookn fly & givn out a whole lot of love on www.aChicagoThing.com!
Posted on October 1, 2009
Chicagoetry: The Picture Of Dorian Gray
By J.J. Tindall
The Picture of Dorian Gray
A dining jacket of fresh asphalt,
boulevard after boulevard
of sturdy, fragrant
boutonnieres, cocktail in hand,
Our Town as
Dorian Resplendent.
Posted on September 30, 2009