By Drew Adamek

I’ve never been one much for consequences. I’ve lived most my life with a catch-as-catch-can, seat-of-the-pants, improvisational philosophy; unexpected and constant change and a crippling fear of responsibility have led to a lifetime of skillfully avoiding the consequences of my actions.
My motto is “We’ll just figure it out when we get there.” I’ve been able to do that over the last 25 years or so because I’ve never been caught doing anything that has had a lifelong impact: no kids, no convictions, no diseases.
I feel like I’ve skated through life, underachieving and fucking everything up because I was smarter than everyone else and getting out of all my messes relatively unscathed because, well, I was smarter than everyone else. (Pretty clear how I’d get caught in a circle of shit sandwiches, right?)
I’ve made some really dumb decisions over time, and yet, somehow managed to build a pretty good life for myself. Sometimes I am not sure how I’ve come to be as happy and successful as I feel. I don’t understand how the past-tense, teenage Drew that decided to leave home early and drop out of high school and bail on his friends all those years ago deserves to feel as happily married, financially secure and professionally rewarded as I do now.
I’ve managed to skirt my way around the big fuck-up stuff without a scratch but there is a more sinister set of consequences creeping up on me that I know I cannot and will not avoid: age and physical deterioration.
I don’t mean the extra weight or the creaking joints or the “things were better then” bullshit that I am going through. That I understand: junk food, a sedentary life and unrealistic nostalgia will do that to you.
I am getting older and I can tell in other, more subtle ways. I really don’t mind aging; I am proud of my gray hair, and I like feeling battle-hardened and experienced when things get tough.
I am talking about the subtle changes and shifts in attitude and lifestyle that make me look down the path of time I’ve trod and realize that it ain’t 1989 any fucking more.
Here, then, are the signs that I am growing up and getting older:

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Posted on June 4, 2010

By The Beachwood Railways Department

“Caterpillar Inc. of Peoria, the world’s largest maker of construction equipment, said Tuesday that it agreed to buy locomotive manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel Inc. of La Grange for $820 million to expand its rail and transit businesses,” Bloomberg News reported this week.
Mmm, Electro-Motive Diesel . . . Let’s take a look.
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1. The bridge is the money shot.

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Posted on June 3, 2010

By The Federal Citizen Information Center

With Memorial Day behind us, summer has officially started – time for picnics, cookouts and lots of grilling. Before you fire up your grill or head to a picnic or cookout, make sure you check out these safety tips from the Federal Citizen Information Center:
Handle with care. Read the Food Safety at Home publication from the Food and Drug Administration’s Office of Women’s Health for tips on preparing dishes to avoid food-borne illnesses and prevent spoiling. For example, if you’re cooking with several kinds of raw food, keep meat, poultry and seafood to themselves so their juices don’t contaminate other food.

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Posted on June 2, 2010

By The Beachwood Inbox Affairs Desk

We recently cleaned out some e-mail folders here at Beachwood HQ and came across a collection of our favorite spam. Warning: NSFW/W (Not Safe For Work/Wimps).
1. SUBJECT: Old Witchcraft Secrets – make your wildest dreams come true.
“Old Witchcraft Secrets” will show you in detail,how you can cast powerful spells, to make your wildest dreams come true.
It’s NOT your fault that your spells and rituals aren’t turning out like you want . . . YET.
The truth is… you’ve been misled by self-proclaimed powerful wizards and witches… and the truth is that 99% of these ‘professionals’ are DEAD WRONG!

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Posted on June 1, 2010

By The Beachwood Trade Show Junkie Affairs Desk

1. Dirty lemon wedgie.

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Posted on May 28, 2010

By The Beachwood Flipper Affairs Desk

“On May 16, 2010 the World Pinball Championship was held in Cokato, MN. Sixty-four of the world’s best pinballl players representing 13 countries competed. The final match was between Daniele Celestino of Italy and Andy Rosa of USA.”
Let’s take a look.

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Posted on May 27, 2010

By Majon International Marketing

Sanitation has always been a key issue with public restrooms and even toilets within the home, especially those in which a toilet seat must be lifted by hand. A company called Johnie-Lift, LLC has introduced a new, decorative toilet seat handle to address this issue.
The Johnie-Lift handle attaches instantly and provides a more sanitary and convenient way to raise and lower the seat, eliminating any direct contact. Being able to avoid direct contact with the toilet seat where the “splash zone” is located reduces contact with and the spread of germs found in bathrooms. It protects consumers while visiting public restrooms, household members and anyone that cleans toilets regularly, either at home or on the job.

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Posted on May 26, 2010

By The Beachwood Craft Beer Affairs Desk

Congress finally does something right.
“While most of Washington was focused on Tuesday’s election results, the House was busy doing something else: Passing a resolution about beer,” Politico reports.
“House Resolution 1297, sponsored by Rep. Betsy Markey, supports ‘the goals and ideals of American Craft Beer Week.'”
Thank you, American Craft Beer Week. For those about to drink, we salute you.
1. Black Fox.

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2. Peanut Butter Cup Coffee Porter.

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Posted on May 21, 2010

By Steve Rhodes

I was on a panel recently when a question about the future of Facebook came up and I said that Facebook was actually vulnerable to a challenge because their glitchy technology and ongoing privacy snafus have alienated so many of their users.
Since then, I’ve collected these developments:
1. Facebook Calls All Hands Meeting On Privacy.
“Facing increasing pressure from the media and users, Facebook has called an all hands meeting tomorrow afternoon, at 4 PM Pacific, to discuss the company’s overall privacy strategy according to sources inside the company. Facebook has come under increasing scrutiny for a number of reasons and many were left with a sour taste in their mouth following a New York Times reader Q&A with Elliot Schrage, the company’s Vice President for Public Policy,” All Facebook reported.

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Posted on May 19, 2010

By J.J. Tindall

Exile on North Ave.
Every day I dream
of a different life.
Like: a city in a ship.
Not a ship
in a bottle, but a city
in a ship, a city

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Posted on May 17, 2010