By Steve Rhodes and Nick Shreders

“[Grant Achatz’s Next restaurant] will feature a menu that will change every three months, tied to a location and time period. Paris 1906 is its inaugural theme; Thai street food (time period undetermined) will follow in June. For future menus, Achatz has floated the idea of Prohibition-era Chicago, New York circa Mad Men and Hong Kong 2036.”
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The Beachwood Foodie Affairs Desk has learned that the following ideas are also under consideration:
* Chicago 2002, Manny’s Deli. A man wearing a brown paper bag over his head will sit at your table as he recreates the time he interviewed – and then hired – Angelo Torres for a city job. Start with a Julienne salad or split pea soup, then choose between stuffed cabbage and roasted tongue – the simulated day in question is a Tuesday – for your entree. Or go with the traditional corned beef sandwich with potato pancakes on the side. A simulated David Axelrod will sit at the next table.

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Posted on May 9, 2011

By Jerome Haller

One night, Raquel walked up to me for a chat. She told me a male customer had been making her uncomfortable during her shifts. She said he repeatedly complimented her face and curvy figure.
The news enraged me. Raquel, a cashier, does her job well and follows the Golden Rule. Due to mutual respect, she and I have become friends.
After Raquel described the jerk, I recalled watching him during previous shifts. He has an average height and build, with some flecks of gray at the temples. A cocaine dealer by trade, he flashes a big wad of cash and talks loudly on a cell phone as though he were a big shot. He chats up the Cool Assistant Manager to earn suck up points. He often buys flowers for emaciated women. The staff ponders whether the women are hookups or clients.

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Posted on May 2, 2011

By David Rutter

1. Rev. Pfleger, WTF?
Not to go totally Vatican on you guys, but WTF wonders why it took so long for Chicago’s Catholic cardinal to whap Rev. Michael Pfleger upside his head with an incense burner.
Bishops hate when parish priests tell them to go fly a liturgical kite. Pfleger stuck out his chin and dared the bishop to smite him. Consider yourself smited. Or is it smote? We have the smoting gun.

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Posted on April 29, 2011

By Fox News Insider

A 16-year-old from Chicago has become a lip-synching sensation after his YouTube videos went viral, leading him to meet some of the celebrities behind the songs he was covering! Jenna Lee spoke to Keenan Cahill via Skype from his home base where he records his videos about how he balances his Internet fame while battling a growth-stunting disorder IRL.

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Posted on April 28, 2011

Clock Strikes Midnight In Iowa

Flav had pitched a reality show based at the restaurant that “will feel something like Happy Days.”
But that was before he tried the potato salad.
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From AP:

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Posted on April 26, 2011

By J.J. Tindall

Someone Might Still Love Me
Demeter in semi-profile,
like Illinois on a map:
sharp brow, full cheek,
lake to her left ear,
glassine underworld
of wrecked ships
and crashed planes,
lovers and suitors
plucked by Hades
who is Time.

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Posted on April 25, 2011

By David Rutter

1. Jean-Claude Brizard, WTF?
There is no specific element of J-C Brizard’s hiring to run Chicago’s schools that announces unequivocally: Well, of course, that makes perfect sense.
Ah, but there is.
Rahm Emanuel’s thinking is transparent only if you have dark, cynical soul. It just so happens that WTF does.

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Posted on April 22, 2011

By The Chicago Beer Company

“A Belgian-style wheat ale brewed with honey and spices, a great beer for quenching the thirst of Chicago. Windy City Wheat swirls in the mouth with a pleasant sweetness and a zesty, orange-citrusy fruitness settling nicely into the honey tones.”

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Posted on April 20, 2011

By GrandpaPlus10

Found this car in Chicago, IL, April 8th, 2011, with Sticky Notes all over, and Passer Bys were leaving notes, like on a Facebook Wall.

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Posted on April 18, 2011

By David Rutter

1. Rahm’s Inaugural, WTF?
Welcome to the Rahm Emanuel Stone Deaf/Tin Ear Inauguration. Recession? Homeless people under the bridges? We’ll get to that later. The city’s sort of broke? So? Pass the champagne and the check. Mass-produced potholes so deep you need a guided burrow tour to get to the bottom? Walk it off. Pass the cake. Put the cash in the duffel bag.

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Posted on April 15, 2011