Chicago -
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Pessimists live longer than optimists, study says.”
Or think of it this way: If you are optimistic, you have good reason to be pessimistic.
Posted on March 4, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Item: “. . . In the poll, 48 percent say Obama is pursuing a path to unify the country in a bipartisan way, while 43 percent say he’s taking a partisan approach that doesn’t unify the country. . . .”
So here is where we are at:
Americans are evenly divided about unity.
Posted on March 1, 2013
By Luke Chen
Mmmm.
1. Consumers have been waiting since 1962 for a non-fried fish sandwich. Or at least that what Hardee’s seems to believe. The fast food chain just launched a “Charbroiled Atlantic Cod Fish Sandwich” supported by a racy ad campaign starring swimsuit model Nina Agdal.
Posted on February 27, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
The federal budget sequester will start on National Self-Injury Awareness Day.
Posted on February 27, 2013
By Guy Essenfahr
As far as household pets on four legs go, I am a dog person. I always have been. By and large, I love dogs unless they’re yappy little creatures more suited for teacups and nestled within the carry-on bags and arms of Hollywood starlets or Mickey Rourke or Chicago Bears he-man Steve McMichael.
Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something fundamentally wrong with those people.
I show up on peoples’ front porches with pizza and sandwiches. It’s what I do to keep the lights on. Consequently, I often run into dog owners, and usually owners of rather large dogs. I work with other pizza-deliverin’ guys whose bane of their entire existence is dogs. Not saying I’m more enlightened or anything than they are, but I actually like the dogs I run across in my pizza-deliverin’ travels.
Posted on February 27, 2013
Zip Lines And Petting Zoos
“Intriguing new attractions to make Chicago more appealing to international tourists could be implemented within months with the potential to attract 75 million visitors by 2020, blowing past Mayor Rahm Emanuel 50 million goal, the board chairman of Choose Chicago said Thursday,” the Sun-Times reports.
“Glass-enclosed cable cars along the Chicago River, designated club cars on CTA trains to O’Hare Airport and plane rides along the lakefront may sound pie-in-the-sky but Bruce Rauner portrayed the ideas as attainable within a relatively short time frame.”
And that’s not nearly the half of it! The Beachwood has learned that the following ideas are also under consideration:
* Virtual City Council: Tourists invited to sit in city council meetings and cast actual votes as long as they agree to always vote Yes for the sake of historical accuracy.
* Downtown Zip Lines: Also known as Rapid Transit Air Lanes. Try one yourself or hail a Zip Cab.
* Drone Pilot For A Day: Fire missiles into random groups of Yemeni and Afghan civilians from an official U.S. military kiosk at Navy Pier.
* The Jesse Jackson Jr. Petting Zoo at Millennium Park: Stocked with just one species: Elk.
Posted on February 26, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Tea Party rooting for sequester.”
News Headline: “At National Zoo, sequester could threaten exhibits.”
There must be something we can do to help these poor creatures.
And the ones in zoo, too.
Posted on February 25, 2013
By The Art Institute of Chicago
“The first major Picasso exhibition organized by the Art Institute in 30 years, this presentation features over 250 of Picasso’s paintings, sculpture, prints, drawings, and ceramics celebrating the artist’s special connections to the city and the 100th anniversary of the Armory Show, when Picasso’s work was first shown in the United States. The celebration continues online with a special look at the 1913 Armory Show.”
Posted on February 23, 2013
By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “House Speaker Boehner says ‘it’s time to act’ on federal deficit.”
News Headline: “U.S. deficit shrinking at fastest pace since WWII.”
Boehner knows that.
As he said, he was only acting.
Posted on February 22, 2013
