By The Beachwood Bid Bureau
With news that Chicago’s Olympic bid has fallen to last place in GamesBids.com’s BidIndex, the Beachwood Bid Bureau did some digging and dialing and learned that the city ought to seriously consider each of the following if it wants to get its bid back on track.
* Fire Jody Weis. Even the IOC doesn’t like him.
* Put Eddie Vrdolyak in charge. The IOC likes his style; plus it’s always nice to have a judge or two in your pocket.
* Re-hire Al Sanchez. And put him in charge of trash, alleys and rats. But not personnel.
* Green-light cameras. Red-light cameras are just too negative.
* Put up Millennium Park as collateral. Just in case those rosy predictions don’t quite come through.
* Bring Jerry Springer’s show back to town. He’s really big in France.
* Let IOC members write tickets too. Seems like everyone else can these days.
* Insert Olympic earmarks into the federal budget. Duh.
* Share more equitably. The mayor’s brothers shouldn’t get all the insurance, legal and financial business.
* Fire some members of the Tribune editorial board. Just don’t get caught on tape talking about it.
* Hold most events in L.A. and New York. Would make coming to America a lot more fun.
* Chicago 2020!
Posted on March 23, 2009