By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Mitt Romney blames loss on Obama ‘gifts’ to blacks, Hispanics, young voters.”
Romney’s campaign autobiography No Apology is now ranked 601,550th on the Amazon best-seller list, for those keeping track.
News Headline: “Hu, Wen bow out; Xi to take over as new boss.”
Who’s bowing out?
Yes.
I mean the fellow’s name.
Hu.
When?
Yes. Him, too.
Who?
Yes. Hu.
Wait. Someone’s bowing out. Who and when?
That’s right. . . .
News Item: Papa John’s and Denny’s to cut worker hours from full-time to part-time to avoid paying health benefits.
So many costs and burdensome regulations. . . .
One hopes these restaurants can maintain the quality they are known for.
News Item: Public health expert at the University of Sydney says smokers should be required to purchase smoking licenses.
As we hear from the Australian chapter of the World Federation of People Who Have Found a Socially Acceptable Way to Push Other People Around.
Mike Wolstein, a Park Ridge reader, regarding the discovery of an image of the Virgin Mary in stains on a window curtain in Oklahoma City, writes:
“Does this mean The Maiden’s stains sway gainly in the plains?”
Funny. QT had just watched part of its favorite Samuel L. Jackson movie again when it considered your note.
Do you think people seeing these images suffer from fakes on the brain?
News Headline: “BP fined $4.5 billion for Gulf oil spill.”
News Headline: “BP employees charged with manslaughter, lying.”
The system, on occasion, works, a little.
News Item: “Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) said Thursday there isn’t much point in raising tax rates on the wealthy because they also have the money to hire people who will help them get out of paying taxes.”
Oh. The system works, all right.
The Not Me Decade, in Which Everybody Else Is Responsible for Everything, Continues:
A couple who bought a house alongside the 18th hole of a golf course in Hamilton, Mont., sued because no warning was offered that a number of golf balls might fall on the property.
QT Trickle-On Economics Update:
The Upper Crust pizza chain told a bankruptcy court it was closing restaurants and firing 140 workers because it had only $14,000 cash on hand–after paying its executives a month’s salary in advance.
News Headline: “NASA falling short of asteroid detection goals.”
You will recall Asteroid 2012 VJ38, which was discovered Tuesday and passed between Earth and the moon late Wednesday.
It turns out the asteroid was preceded by Asteroid 2012 VH77, which passed between Earth and the moon early Monday.
This asteroid was discovered on Thursday.
But rest assured there are no other asteroids heading for us in the near future.
That we know of.
Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =
A Rhode Island counterfeiter took great care to get the picture of Abraham Lincoln right on the $100 bills he was passing, police said.
News Headline: “Devocalization: The controversial act of removing dogs’ vocal cords”
Controversial?
QT sees no problem.
As long as the owners are spayed or neutered.
News Headline: “Carlsbad woman arrested for using nunchucks while driving.”
There is probably an interesting story behind that.
From Poor QT’s Almanack:
On this day in history 60 years ago Lucy first held a football for Charlie Brown to kick, only to pull it away, and for those who miss this fun, we still have President Obama when he talks about getting tough with Wall Street.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Tom Nee, an Oak Lawn reader, regarding QT’s using the word “woops,” writes:
“I believe that the correct spelling is ‘whoops,’ not ‘woops.’ References: My Life as a Woman by Roseanne Barr, Milton Berle’s Joke Book and My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business by Dick Van Dyke.”
Oops.
Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
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QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Posted on November 16, 2012