By J. Bird
I think it’s Day Three without a reason to set the alarm, grumble about having to roll out of bed, dress up, and make my way downtown – but I’m not really sure. Unemployment It’s taking its toll already. I’ve lost the ability to distinguish between weekday and weekend.
Either way, I have no pressing engagements. Just a pressing, re-occuring thought: “Well, hell, do I really need to get out of my pajamas today?”
Yes. Yes I do. If you don’t force yourself to abide by some kind of structure, you’re really screwed. You kind of lose the will to leave your place. It’s something you have to fight against if you’re going to be successfully unemployed, or other things are going to start slipping. You stop looking at the job ads. You turn your phone off. You start watching Judge Judy and Dr. Phil, conveniently scheduled back-to-back. Then you’re really sunk.
On the one hand, I’m able to stay up a lot later than I’m used to – I think I made it to eleven or so with no problem last night, reading my book, watching a movie, comfortably settled in. I require an extraordinary amount of sleep to be functional, so the whole staying up late thing doesn’t happen that often anymore, at least until now.
On the other hand, I’m a little despondent over the job ads. I’d hoped there’d be a bunch of new, attractive opportunities calling my name since the Sunday postings went up, but there was pretty much zilch.
I talked to my brother today; he gave me the old “keep your chin up, conserve your resources, keep applying, if asked why you left, tell them your version before your former boss has the chance to tell them his, I doubt you’ll get a job as a private eye, are you sure you want to stay in Chicago,” speech. Typical family stuff, but well-meaning. My brother’s a straight-shooter. Pretty much no one else in my family lives around here, and they’re not really sure why I do, but I have my reasons.
As for the whole “finding meaning in days that feel meaningless” thing, well, I had an errand that I really needed to run, so that gave me a reason to get dressed and leave the house, and then I had a cup of coffee and some entertaining conversation, and that right there was enough to get me through early afternoon. I figure as long as you can find a reason to get dressed, you’re making it. When you can no longer find a reason, you’re really screwed.
Maybe there’ll be a really great job opportunity tomorrow. Or maybe I won’t get out of bed. We’ll see.
J. Bird is the Beachwood’s pseudononymous workplace affairs correspondent. Due to recent unforeseen but wholly fitting circumstances, J. Bird is also the Beachwood’s pseudononymous unemployment affairs correspondent. To catch up, check out the Life at Work archives.
Posted on September 18, 2006