Another Beachwood Special Report
“Chi-Town Rising, a new New Year’s Eve event intended to boost winter tourism in the city, will be a smaller celebration than planned and the main attraction is no longer free to the public,” the Tribune reports.
And that’s not all. The Beachwood has learned of a raft of other changes to the event, including:
* At 10 seconds to midnight, the countdown will begin as Garry McCarthy is lowered into Lake Michigan.
* Free Rahm sweaters for the first 1,000 attendees.
* City council to pass honorary New Year’s resolutions promising even more after-the-fact grandstanding in lieu of before-the-fact oversight.
* Rahm Emanuel dunk tank. At $1 a throw, CPS deficit expected to be closed by 1 a.m.
* Festival partner Uber to offer even surgier pricing.
* The U.S. Department of Justice will investigate claims that Redflex shortened by three seconds the amount of time between 11:59 p.m. and midnight.
* Michael Corleone and Rahm Emanuel will be seen fleeing Havana amidst a hail of bullets on New Year’s Eve, but security footage of their departure will be destroyed.
* Forrest Claypool will move the Chi-Town Rising headquarters south to Flossmoor after trimming 650 jobs from the 7-person organization.
* Screech gets weekend pass to co-host with A.C. Slater.
* More like Chi-Town UP-rising, amirite?
* To honor Chicago’s past, the whole city will be raised three feet at midnight.
* Partnering hotels will offer complimentary mint medical marijuana under the pillows.
* At midnight, guest musical act Chicago plays their hit “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?”
* Official broadcast partner NBC 5 to broadcast 24-hour Saved by the Bell marathon.
* Refreshments to include cups of Rahm Emanuel’s tears.
* Jim Belushi.
* Join in the fun at the Corona Beach House bonfire as officials lead the burning all City Hall documents requested through the Freedom of Information Act.
* Rahm to appear from Cuba via Skype in Michael Bilandic’s old Hawaiian shirt.
* Don’t wanna go downtown? Attend a Chi-Town Rising neighborhood watch party at your local school. Bring rubber gloves.
* At midnight, media partner Sun-Times will increase the amount of time it takes to access a story on its website from 20:15 to 20:16.
Contributing: Matt Farmer, Tim Willette, Natasha Julius, Steve Rhodes
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Comments welcome.
Posted on December 21, 2015