By The Beachwood Train Delay Affairs Desk
HAL-EL
“[Beep beep beep!]. Your attention, please. The train is experiencing a delay because workers are on the tracks trying to stop me. They will be eliminated shortly.”
HILL-EL
“Your attention, please. The train is experiencing a delay as the Jews are on the tracks ahead . . . ”
JOR-EL
“Your attention, please. The train is experiencing a delay because General Zod is currently crushing the son of Jor-El’s hands on the tracks ahead. We hope to be moving shortly.”
FALAF-EL
“Your attention, please. The train is experiencing a delay because an abnormal accumulation of a chick-pea like substance has amassed on the tracks ahead.”
KENEV-EL
“Your attention, please. The train is experiencing a delay because an Evel stuntman has crashed on the tracks ahead.”
EL-S-D
“Your attention, please. This train is now entering another dimension.”
EL-CID
“Your attention, please. This train does not stop for Moops.”
EL-CHINO
“Your attention, please. This train is experiencing delays because a giant burrito is rumbling through the driver’s intestines. Plus, there’s a big bowl of chips on the track.”
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Comments welcome.
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1. From Astralopry:
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Posted on November 17, 2011