By The Beachwood Multi-Dimensional Affairs Desk
The next issue of Playboy, which is apparently still around, will include a 3-D centerfold, which they apparently still have.
This got us thinking about what might be featured in a 3-D issue of, say, Chicago magazine, if Chicago actually covered Chicago. To wit:
* An alderman’s greasy 3-D hand thrust toward you as he’s about to accept a bribe.
* The mayor’s . . . being thrust in your face as he’s about to screw you.
* A Jay Cutler interception coming your way!
* Block 37 in 1-D ’cause nothing goes right there.
* Sneed’s day-old leftovers in 3-D.
* A bullet coming your way for black subscribers. Oh wait, Chicago magazine doesn’t have any black subscribers . . .
* Lou Piniella ambling toward you to make a pitching change.
* Your receipt limply sputtering out of a parking pay box.
* Amy Jacobson in a bikini at your pool party.
* A centerfold of Tom Ricketts’ new Toyota sign, with the rooftops behind hit Photoshopped out of the picture.
* Your property tax bill, including a tacked-on 3-D fee.
* An application to the University of Illinois including a box to check if you know Mike Madigan.
* A working surveillance camera.
* Wait, Chicago magazine is still around?
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Comments welcome.
Posted on May 13, 2010