By The Blue State Cowboys
The Rauner campaign in 3:51.
LYRICS
VERSE 1
Some rich guys buy fancy cars
Some spend their money on old guitars
Some go in for private planes and boats
Well, I like houses – I own nine
And I drink $6,000 wine
And I’m tryin’ hard to buy your November votes
Yeah, my wristwatch cost me eighteen bucks
I wear Carhartt clothes when I hunt for ducks
And I even drive around in a beat-up van
But I’m a straight-up, blood-suckin’ billionaire
Who hates payin’ taxes for Medicare
And I bank in the Cayman Islands anytime I can
CHORUS
So, Springfield, get out the welcome mat
What this state needs is a plutocrat
A slashin’, burnin’, union-bustin’ guy
I’ll hammer and shake that capitol dome
Like it’s a grandma stuck in a nursing home
Hey, grandma, it’s time to say goodbye
VERSE 2
Well, I’m mighty proud of one thing I did
Tryin’ to educate my suburban kid
I had Arne Duncan lend me a helping hand
He took my call without hesitatin’
Then my kid got a spot at Walter Payton
And I gave that school 250 grand
I want charter schools in every town
where the kids are poor and black or brown
You know I’ve even got a school named after me
And I could have sent my own kid there
But I’m a wealthy man, and it’s only fair
That her school be largely white and bourgeoisie
CHORUS
VERSE 3
Now I know it’s become the latest craze
But I try not to talk about marryin’ gays
Social issues bring my numbers down
Same is true for reproductive rights
I don’t want to pick any needless fights
I’ll be a blank slate until I win that crown
I’ve got my own economic plan
But like H.G. Wells’ Invisible Man
The details . . . well, they’re mighty hard to see
And I do my best to avoid the stage
If they want me to talk about the minimum wage
‘Cause I’d rather have those people work for free
CHORUS
–
Previously by The Blue State Cowboys:
* Good King Rich.
* Radio Blago.
* Rahm: Too Big To Fail.
–
See also:
* The Blue State Cowboys.
–
Previously in Song of the Moment:
* Iron Man
* The Story of Bo Diddley
* Teach Your Children
* Dream Vacation
* When The Levee Breaks
* I Kissed A Girl
* Theme From Shaft
* Rocky Mountain High
* North to Alaska
* Barracuda
* Rainy Days and Mondays
* Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?
* Baby, It’s Cold Outside
* Man in the Mirror
* Birthday Sex
* Rio
* My Sharona
* Alex Chilton
* Surfin’ Bird
* By The Time I Get To Arizona
* Heaven and Hell
* Sunday Bloody Sunday
* Lawless One
* Tell It Like It Is
* The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
* Lake Shore Drive
* On, Wisconsin!
* Anarchy in the U.K.
* Ballad of a Thin Man
* White Riot
* Know Your Rights
* Chicago Teacher
* Youngstown
* Over The Cliff
* Almost Gone (The Ballad of Bradley Manning)
* Party at the NSA
* V.E.N.T.R.A.
–
See also:
* Songs of the Occupation: To Have And To Have Not
* Songs of the Occupation: Johnny 99
–
Comments welcome.
Posted on October 23, 2014