By Steve Rhodes
1. “Reversing his recent position on the dangers of an extraterrestrial invasion, eminent theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking said today that the planet is in no such peril anymore because aliens are ‘no longer interested’ in invading Earth,” Andy Borowitz reports.
“‘Assuming that aliens have been monitoring Earth for the past month in preparation for an invasion, they’ve probably figured out it’s no longer worth the trip,’ Dr. Hawking said.”
2. The Yahoo! Style Guide.
3. The Jon Burge song.
4. “The revelation that Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan is investigating the giant three-day Lollapalooza festival in Grant Park came as a shock to the local and national music communities, and it has left just about everyone on the concert scene wondering: What the heck is going on?” Jim DeRogatis reports.
5. Today’s Worst Person in Chicago is Michael Fitzgerald, owner of All Fields of Concrete Construction. (via Chicagoist)
Don’t sue me, Michael!
6. “In the City Council chambers Thursday, as Steven Restivo, the Wal-Mart spokesman, talked to reporters about the Zoning Committee vote, a former Daley aide who recently got a job with Wal-Mart stood next to him,” Dan Mihalopoulos reported on Sunday for the Chicago News Cooperative. “Mr. Restivo would not say whether anyone in local politics had recommended the former aide, Gyata Kimmons, to the company, saying instead that Mr. Kimmons was most likely hired the same way he and many other Wal-Mart employees had been.”
Right. He picked up an application one day and sat around for a few months for the phone to ring.
“Kimmons, who worked in the mayor’s Office of Intergovernmental Affairs and was director of community relations for Chicago’s unsuccessful 2016 Olympics bid . . . will lobby the mayor’s office and aldermen, according to records filed with the Chicago Ethics Board on April 16,” Mihalopoulos reported previously in “Wal-Mart Expands City’s Lobbying Team.”
Also on the team: Timothy Dart, brother of the Cook County sheriff.
7. For his efforts regarding Walmart, the Tribune editorial board lionizes Ald. Anthony Beale (9th) as the greatest alderman since Hinky Dink Kenna. In reality, Beale is a Daley tool. He’s also pretty much a doorknob, according to sources close to the alderman.
Yet once again the Tribune, like its legacy media counterparts, ignores the blazing Big Lie that Beale has apparently been telling this whole time.
And while the Trib crows that Beale “has been single-minded in his efforts to build a better quality of life for his constituents,” the record shows otherwise.
From the August 25, 2009 Papers:
“Anthony Beale is now the second alderman to admit he made a phone call to the principal of Whitney Young to get his daughter into the school, the Sun-Times reports.
“You’re talking about an A-minus student,” Beale said.
Yes. But was this straight-A student left out of Walter Payton Prep because of a similar call?
*
It gets better.
“[Whitney Young Principal Joyce] Kenner said she had a ‘personal relationship’ with Beale, whom she knew as a baseball coach when her son was playing baseball. ‘When he called me, it wasn’t about him being a political figure,’ Kenner said.”
It was about her personal relationship with Beale.
I don’t know which is worse.
From the August 19, 2009 Papers:
Returning for a moment to the Tribune’s story about aldermen’s expense accounts:
“Six aldermen tapped their expense accounts to pay for public relations firms and other consultants – for everything from setting up community meetings to expert advice.
“Ald. Anthony Beale (9th) spent more than any other alderman on public relations, with more than $16,000 paid to The Publicity Works, a company owned by longtime Democratic political consultant Delmarie Cobb.”
From the January 14, 2009 Papers:
It was a real meeting of the minds on Tuesday when Roland Burris appeared before the Chicago City Council for absolutely no good reason.
Consider:
“We all know we got issues with the person [who] appointed him and that the process had been tainted,” said Ald. Anthony Beale (9th). “But when he chose Roland Burris, he untainted the process.”
And from the June 28, 2006 Papers:
“Madigan anointed his daughter. Tom Hynes anointed his son. Bill Lipinski anointed his son. So why can’t John Stroger anoint his son?” asks Ald. Anthony Beale.
Maybe the Trib confused Beale with someone else when they wrote today that “It’s a pleasure to point to a political figure who follows his best instincts and acts in the interest of his neighborhood.”
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The Beachwood Tip Line: Follow your instincts.
Posted on June 30, 2010