Chicago -
By Steve Rhodes
The Sun-Times‘s cover story today is “The 300,000,000th American Is Born: HERE SHE IS!” with a photo of a baby born in Chicago.
Problem is, there is absolutely no evidence the baby is the 300 millionth American. The paper just made it up.
Posted on October 18, 2006
By Steve Rhodes
1. Oh Lord. The Bears miracle finish last night ensures not just continuing 1985 Super Bowl nostalgia (can it be nostalgia if it never went away?) and endless hours ruminating over the remaining schedule to assess this team’s chances of matching the undefeated season of the 1972 Miami Dolphins, but more national media coverage like Tony Kornheiser’s clichéd paean on Monday Night Football last night to the bone-crunching, blue-collar, Monsters of the Midway of myth. The truth is, for almost all of my lifetime, the Bears have sucked. And they’ve been a bunch of pantywaists doing it.
2. But yes. I cannot deny what is transpiring before our eyes. Can we at least mandate a pre-emptive moratorium on the phrase “team of destiny” from now until January?
3. The truth is, even if the Bears were a blue-collar team, Chicago is no longer a blue-collar city; more like the City of Pretty Flowers. They no longer play in Soldier Field; they play in Soldiers of the Galactic Federation Field. Perhaps the team should be called the Chicago Condos. Or the Eight-Dollar Martinis. Or, most intimidating, the Chicago Gentrifiers.
Posted on October 17, 2006
By Steve Rhodes
While polls are always just a “snapshot in time”, as we are so often reminded by the campaigns most unhappy with the results, that is particularly the case when it comes to a poll like the one the Tribune published on Sunday – and if I were Republican gubernatorial candidate Judy Baar Topinka, I’d be pissed.
Posted on October 16, 2006
By Natasha Julius
Spoiler Alert! If you don’t want to know how today’s most troubling news stories end, stop reading now and pick up your daily newspaper instead.
Bond Market
We here at the Weekend Desk have long sought a foolproof way to predict the outcome of ongoing international events. At long last, we believe we’ve found the bellwether of global crises: the James Bond film franchise. Bombing the crap out of a fiendish underworld enterprise based in Afghanistan? Check. Blaming vast media empires for the troubles of the world? Check. Exposing North Korean nuclear ambitions? Covered. So as we ponder the ultimate resolution of the War on Terror, we turn for guidance to the 21st entry in this illustrious cinematic tradition, Casino Royale, wherein we learn that the fate of the world rests with a few hands of Texas Hold ‘Em. If this is going to involve the key poker skills of bluffing and knowing when to fold, we are totally fucked.
Posted on October 14, 2006
By Steve Rhodes
“A longtime aide to former Representative Mark Foley testified before the House ethics committee for nearly five hours on Thursday, repeating under oath his account of having explicitly warned Speaker J. Dennis Hastert’s office at least three years ago that Mr. Foley should be told to keep his distance from Congressional pages,” The New York Times reports this morning.
The Sun-Times thought the more important news about our hometown Speaker was President Bush reading “The country is better off with Denny Hastert as the Speaker” from a script. The paper’s editors put that content-free spin point on their front page today, with a photo of Bush and Hastert and the headline “Stand By Your Man.”
The testimony of Kirk Fordham, the former Foley aide, warranted a single perfunctory paragraph near the end of the Sun-Times‘s story.
Posted on October 13, 2006
By Steve Rhodes
1. What will it be a year from now – Governor Topinka or Governor Quinn?
2. “Blagojevich told the Sun-Times Wednesday night he was shocked by the indictment . . . ”
Then he’s the only one. Political insiders have been expecting this for the better part of a year. Political insiders would also not be shocked if Christopher Kelly and Joe Cini were indicted next. So don’t let Blagojevich tell you he’s shocked if and when that happens.
3. Will Blagojevich be implicated? Three sources in a position to know have confirmed to me that at least one figure cooperating with authorities has told investigators that the governor personally offered political favors in exchange for campaign contributions. That doesn’t make it true, but it likely makes the governor a target.
Posted on October 12, 2006
By Steve Rhodes
1. The Rod & Judy Show.
2. YouTube co-founder Steve Chen is from Arlington Heights. “Steve was an above-average kid who, at the time, didn’t seem very motivated,” his former calculus teacher tells the Daily Herald.
3. We found WMDs! They’re in North Korea.
Posted on October 11, 2006
By Steve Rhodes
The words “North Korea” have yet to appear on the Sun-Times‘s front page this week. But the screaming words “PAY UP, PAPA BEAR” next to a huge photo of Brian Urlacher constitute today’s attempt by the paper to be a New York-style tabloid without the benefit of New York-style tabloid news. You might as well try publishing the New York Post in Kansas City.
For example, the GIANT Urlacher story about the purportedly GOSSIPY DETAILS of his paternity agreement can only muster the hot scoops that the Bears linebacker will increase the financial support he pays for the boy he fathered out-of-wedlock but will get to see him more – PERHAPS AN EXTRA DAY a week, though the mother says Urlacher is free to see his son whenever he wants. And the story is all based on the word of the mother, so whatever, though both parties agree they are both GOOD PARENTS.
This is the big Urlacher story.
As a Beachwood reader remarked to me recently, “The Sun Times has indeed plummeted since [returning Editor-in-Chief Michael] Cooke got back in the saddle (can you plummet from a curb?).”
Yes, we’ve just learned that you can plummet from a curb. The only question now is how low they will go.
Posted on October 10, 2006
By Steve Rhodes
1. Be the first on your block to own a Chicago Bears mailbox.
2. Meet North Korea.
3. Robert Novak reports that Denny Hastert has survived thus far in part because Republicans are likely to lose the House and he’ll no longer be Speaker in a couple months anyway.
4. Lynn Sweet’s report on the actions that Illinois Rep. John Shimkus took – and didn’t take – as head of the congressional page program is damning. Still, I’m not sure it’s fully sunk in with the local media that this is an Illinois scandal with Hastert and Shimkus at the heart of it. But then, with the exception of Sweet, the local media has never been very interested in the state’s congressional delegation. After all, it’s only Congress.
5. Meet Dan Stover.
6. John Shimkus only has five MySpace friends – and one of them is a cat.
Posted on October 9, 2006
By Natasha Julius
Showdown Sunday?
There’s a lot to watch this weekend, including a few key match-ups. For readers who enjoy an odd wager, here are our key picks for Week T -5 before the mid-term elections
Pats vs. IMs
Pats -3
While the Pats traditionally have been the power-house contender in this division, the speed and sheer aggression of the Instant Message offense has already scored them one major upset. Take the IMs with the points.
Posted on October 7, 2006
