By Steve Rhodes

“Chicago Animal Care and Control will be closing the east half of the Humboldt Park starting Sunday night in an effort to humanely capture the alligator discovered July 9 in the lagoon,” the Sun-Times reports.

“It is likely that residents who have been watching from the lagoon banks and paths in the park have been influencing the animal’s behavior.” Kelley Gandurski, executive director of Chicago Animal Care and Control said in a statement. “We are taking these steps to in an attempt to create an environment that lends to the animal’s safe capture so we can quickly reopen the entire park to activity.

Also, Alligator Bob has been sent packing.

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Posted on July 15, 2019

By Steve Rhodes

“Thousands showed up Saturday morning at Daley Plaza for a planned rally to protest the Trump Administration’s immigration policies with deportation raids set to take place this weekend in Chicago and around the country,” the Sun-Times reports.

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Posted on July 13, 2019

By Steve Rhodes

No time for a full column today, so I’ll just leave you with these goodies.

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Posted on July 12, 2019

By Steve Rhodes

As of the time of this writing – 2:15 p.m. – the Humboldt Park Gator is still free to pursue a life of liberty. And we’re still free to pursue the exploitation of that life well beyond t-shirts and Facebook events.
To wit:
* Gator Dogs. To the classic Chicago hot dog, add ketchup red as the blood that will run from Alligator Bob’s bloody stump by the time he’s done.
* Gator Scratch-Offs. Pay down the city’s pension debt with this popular new lotto game that only pays off in Gator Dollars.
* Gator Gaydar. Is the Humboldt Park Gator gay? Only those with gator gaydar know for sure.
* Cloud Gator. Paint the Bean green, yo. Make it a green bean.
* Make The Gator Spit On Us. Put the gator’s face here, please:

–
P.S.: Would the alderman from the lagoon please rise?

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Posted on July 11, 2019

By Steve Rhodes

The Humboldt Park Alligator is one of those things that teeters on the brink of being so cool and something we can all get behind and so lame in the over-the-top media response that I just don’t know where I land on it. I’d guess I’d say it’s kind of a blast but don’t smother it like you do everything. Let cool stuff breathe, people. Let it breathe. That’s what the Beatles meant to say.
The big question, of course, is how did it get there. The lagoon doesn’t connect to the Everglades via river, for godsake. Does it connect to anything, except maybe some pipes? And where do those pipes connect to? It didn’t swim there from Lake Michigan.
Maybe somebody put it there? Dropped an alligator into the lagoon? Maybe it’s been there all along, for eons, lurking. Just waiting for the right time to emerge. To warn us. Heed the gator, people! Heed the gator.
Maybe it’s not a real alligator at all. Maybe it’s performance art, like by that set-the-riverboats-on-fire theater group. Who’s up for GatorFest?
Maybe the gator escaped from Taste of Chicago, where it was gonna be served up on a stick.
Maybe it’s Rahm Emanuel, returned to his natural state.
There are a lot of possibilities, almost none of them good.
*
And aren’t urban alligators called alleygators?
See, this sort of thing can turn lame on a dime.

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Posted on July 10, 2019

By Steve Rhodes

“For nearly a decade, Chicago Cubs co-owner Todd Ricketts has lived in a 5,000-square-foot North Shore house nestled on a meticulously landscaped lot complete with a Japanese-style garden,” the Tribune reports.
“It’s a showcase Wilmette home a short walk from Lake Michigan. But it’s not the home that Ricketts, who also is finance chairman of the Republican National Committee, has been paying taxes on.
“Instead, records show, Ricketts pays property taxes based on the value of the much older and smaller house that he tore down to make way for the new one, providing him with a huge discount likely totaling tens of thousands of dollars over the years.”

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Posted on July 9, 2019

By Steve Rhodes

“Lineage is the biggest player in the country’s cold storage industry, a business consumers seldom see but one that plays a crucial role in keeping edible fare fresh from the time it’s harvested until it reaches the kitchen fridge,” the Los Angeles Times reports.
“Now, changes in the way people shop have the ‘cold chain’ scrambling to keep up. Consumers, particularly younger buyers, are turning more and more to online grocery shopping and prepared meal services, which means more refrigerated warehouses are needed to keep that stuff cold.
“To keep pace, the country will need 100 million square feet of new cold storage warehouse space over the next five years, according to a report by real estate brokerage CBRE.”

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Posted on July 8, 2019

By Steve Rhodes

Enjoy today’s beer, barbecue and bullshit.

View this post on Instagram

4th sightings #chicago #hydeparkparade #4thofjuly #summer

A post shared by @ kihpatootie on Jul 4, 2019 at 9:06am PDT

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Posted on July 4, 2019

By Steve Rhodes

Declarations.

From its inception, America’s commitment to freedom did not apply to Black people, a reality that African Americans continue to grapple with particularly on Independence Day — a holiday created for some and not all. | #4thofJuly Perspective https://t.co/sseO9hMWpQ

— The Chicago Reporter (@ChicagoReporter) July 3, 2019

vs.

A new declaration, The Declaration of Dependence. That old declaration from 1776 wasn’t woke. This new one is. “We hold these truths to be self evident… from each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs.” #4thofjuly2019 https://t.co/KQmxQtCoos

— John Kass (@John_Kass) July 3, 2019

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Posted on July 3, 2019

By Steve Rhodes

1. I wonder how much this URL cost – or if they got it from the get-go.
*
The flip side is parked.

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Posted on July 2, 2019