Chicago - A message from the station manager

QT: On The Third And Fourth Days Of Christmas . . .

By Zay N. Smith

QT Christmas News You Can Use:
A reminder to those who are out of work while the merriment happens all around:
The outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas will offer free job search and career advice to anyone who calls on Dec. 27 and 28.
The number is (312) 422-5010.
The hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
And try to remember:
There are Twelve Days of Christmas.
And a New Year after that.

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Posted on December 24, 2012

QT: Chicagoans Ask: Where’s Mayan?

By Zay N. Smith

No. Sorry.
The world was supposed to end as we slept at 11:11 (GMT).
Still here.
Something not many people know:
The Mayan civilization finally collapsed when sacrifices to the Mayan rain god Chaac were no longer allowed in public schools.

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Posted on December 21, 2012

QT: A Wingnut And A Prayer

By Zay N. Smith

The Case for the Separation of Church and Everything:
Evangelist Bryan Fischer announced that the little boys and girls in Newtown, Conn., died because prayer is no longer allowed in public schools.
He explained that God is a “gentleman,” and gentlemen do not go where they are not wanted.
He said children in the future will be safe if they “pray for protection” every morning in school.

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Posted on December 17, 2012

QT: Taliban Has Its Say

By Zay N. Smith

A Taliban leader in Afghanistan explaining what is important in society:
“Firefighters and police officers are vital to society. Teachers are not.”
About what you’d expect from–
No. Wait.
Those are the words of a Tea Party leader in California.
Sorry.

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Posted on December 14, 2012

QT: Don’t Worry, Be Happy

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Industrial fishing scrapes sea floor smooth.”
News Headline: “Rainforest disappearing twice as fast as previously thought.”
News Headline: “China will flatten 700 mountains to build a city.”
Or put it this way:
We’re just asking for it, aren’t we?

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Posted on December 12, 2012

QT: But When Will He Tweet?

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Pope’s Twitter account expected to top one million followers.”
The pope opened his Twitter account a week ago today.
The latest tweet:
“@Pontifex hasn’t tweeted yet.”
We meanwhile saw 76 tweets from Justin Bieber during the same week.
Come to think of it:
Why couldn’t the pope borrow one of those to get started?
Maybe from December 3:
“got alot of ideas right now. feeling creative. kinda just hyped thinking thru all this stuff. planning all kinds of new stuff .”
Or maybe from December 9:
“come relax with me poolside.”
Or maybe not.

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Posted on December 10, 2012

QT: A Rose Bowl By Any Other Name . . .

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Money beats tradition as Big Ten expands.”
News Headline: “Big Ten: Realignment is the perfect time to rename Legends and Leaders.”
QT has already suggested Cash and Carry.
Or there is Bait and Switch.
Or. . . .

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Posted on December 7, 2012

QT: Or Think Of The Cliff As A Bluff

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Fiscal cliff looms over U.S. economy.”
OK. Wait.
If the fiscal cliff looms over us, doesn’t that mean we already fell off it?
Forget the economy.
We’re losing control of our metaphors.

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Posted on December 5, 2012

QT: Different Desecrations For Different Folks

By Zay N. Smith

News Headline: “Woman hangs flag upside down to protest Obama victory.”
News Headline: “Indonesian Muslim protestors burn U.S. flag.”
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

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Posted on December 3, 2012

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