By Eric Emery
As the day progressed, it became clear that the Kool-Aid Nation was to experience heartbreak. Here are a few notable items and the times they occurred:
4:10 PM: Third person arrives at party with “2006 NFC Champions” shirt. Bears fans must already know this is the last championship they will win this year.
4:35 PM: A friend and I peruse Vegas’s Super Bowl proposition bets. Party member looks for “Number of times Phil Simms stumbles over himself,” but finds nothing. Vegas knows it could never set the line high enough.
5:30 PM: Billy Joel sings National Anthem. I look for “Number of shots consumed by Bill Joel before singing the National Anthem,” but I also find nothing. Same reason, I guess.
5:35:01 PM: Everybody (but me) starts singing “Bear Down, Chicago Bears” after Hester kick off return.
5:35:05 PM: Everybody starts realizing they don’t know all of the words to “Bear Down, Chicago Bears.”
7:15 PM: Somebody asks for Grossman’s stats at halftime (6 of 8, 32 yards, 120.8 Passer Rating). Person states “There’s something wrong with this statistic when you complete 6 passes and you get a 120.8 Passer Rating.”
7:16 PM: I think “At least there are two explanations for having a 0.0 Passer Rating. Either you didn’t play or you stink. Maybe Grossman should consider the former.”
7:18 PM: First time somebody calls for Brian Griese to play.
8:16 PM: With Bears losing by 12 points and the Colts controlling the ball, Bears fans splinter after somebody says “At least the Sox won a World Championship recently.”
8:20 PM: Trying to defuse Cubs/Sox tensions, somebody states “At least we know the Blackhawks will never make it to a championship game.” I say “If Wirtz really cared for Chicago hockey, he’d move the Blackhawks to Kansas City, so the Penguins can move to Chicago.”
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When your team wins the Super Bowl, you celebrate. Everybody else gets to ask themselves the tough questions. Since the Bears finally showed their true colors, fans are left asking the following questions:
– Have the words “I guess Dennis Green was right after all” ever been uttered before Sunday night?
– If the “slap in the face” replaced “the fist bump” as the preferred celebratory gesture, what would Urlacher do to Grossman for his 4-turnover performance?
– Question for Grossman: If I admit that I’m ignorant, will you admit you stink?
– Were the Saints and Seahawks sitting at home saying “Yeah, that looks like the Chicago team we prepared for?”
– In four years, will Bears fans say “You have to remember that even though Grossman is in his eighth year, he’s really like a fifth-year player?”
– How many people actually believed Phil Simms when he said “The weather will not be a factor” during the pre-game coverage?
– How many bet “the over” on the proposition “Over/Under 1.5 fumbles” after Simms claimed the weather would not be a factor?
– Given the lackluster halftime adjustments, is Rivera’s and Turner’s mantra “WWGWBD (What Would George W. Bush Do)?”
– Did the McCaskeys do a cost-benefit analysis between a Super Bowl win/higher Lovie Smith raise/extra merchandise revenue and a Super Bowl loss/lower Lovie Smith raise/lost merchandise revenue?
– Do you think they’re OK with the result?
– Is there any doubt that if Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz found himself in the same situation, the Bears would have simply forfeited the game?
– After consuming the Blue & Orange Kool-Aid and picking the Bears, is my massive headache from coming down from the sugar high or is it from all the beer I consumed Sunday?
Sugar in next year’s Super Bowl pitcher: 40%
Recommended sugar in next year’s Super Bowl pitcher: 40%
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More Bears coverage:
* Bear Down, Chicago Media.
* A Bears Top Ten Review.
* Super Bowl Shuffling.
* Lessons from NFL 2006.
* Tank vs. Troutman.
* The Blue & Orange Kool-Aid Report archive.
* The Over/Under archive.
* The Bears Endorsement Report.
* The [Super Bowl] Papers.
* What the Beachwood’s TV critic saw.
Posted on February 5, 2007