By Natasha Julius
Numbers Game
President Bush this week sought to quell broad-based congressional resistance to his current Iraq plan. Using a new statistical model, Bush now says the actual number of U.S. troops, casualties, and Iraqi insurgents is considerably lower than first estimated. For that reason, he contends, it should be no problem to send 20,000 more soldiers to the beleaguered battlegrounds, and maybe toss a few bones Afghanistan’s way too.
The Breakup
In an unprecedented summit of America’s exes, the message was loud and clear: the U.S. is never going to find someone to settle down with unless it starts listening. Most recent dumpee Canada had even more words of advice for current flame Israel. “I never felt like I could be myself in the relationship,” Canada cautioned, “and I got really tired of cleaning up America’s messes. If I were you, I’d keep my eye out for other suitors.”
Search and Destroy
More mixed messages from Washington this week. While on the one hand, the Bush administration encourages the whole-sale destruction of elements seeking to dictate prevailing culture, on the other hand, not so much.
Race to the Bottom
Confident American gamblers have raced to the OTB this week, certain that their man has locked up the race for World’s Worst President. But surely the smart money will steer clear of this passing fancy. After all, in the ultimate stakes, he’s not even close.
Posted on January 26, 2007