By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “Arkansas lawmakers approve guns in churches.”
A call was placed.
“Arkansas Secretary of State.”
Visitor information, please.
“Yes.”
Is the public allowed to bring guns into the state capitol building?
“No.”
Thank you.
“You’re welcome.”
But the legislation is surely in the pipeline.
News Headline: “Obama proposes $9 minimum wage.”
What would it take to bring the minimum wage to the level of, say, 1968?
About $10.50 in today’s dollars.
Or try it another way:
There are currently:
+ 2,490 Google hits for “tap-dancing militant Islamic fundamentalists.”
+ Zero Google hits for “bold challenges in President Obama’s 2013 State of the Union message.”
Cardinal Christoph Schoenborn regarding the selection of a new pope:
“Right now, 1.2 billion Catholics the world over are holding their breath.”
Do we have video on this?
News Headline: “Idaho state senator thinks Ayn Rand should be required reading for high schoolers.”
News Headline: “Ohio congressman wants kids to meditate.”
Worth trying.
A few pages of Ayn Rand’s writing, and they’ll be meditating, all right.
QT Rules of Etiquette for Guys and Dolls:
J.C., an Atlanta reader, regarding QT’s taking a dim view of President Obama’s wearing white collar with a dinner jacket instead of tails at the Inaugural parties, writes:
“‘Nice customs curtsy to great kings.’ -Henry V, Act V, scene ii.”
You may have a point.
Or put it another way:
“. . . my. . . bad. . . .” -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, scene iii.
We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
The International Olympic Committee announced it will drop the ancient sport of wrestling, saying it is not “relevant,” from the Summer Olympics, which still include badminton and ping-pong.
News Headline: “Wintry mix expected overnight.”
Jack Finarelli, a Falls Church, Va., reader, wants to know when did sleet become a wintry mix, and when can we have sleet back?
QT News Presented Without Comment:
Justin Timberlake announced that his new album is “the best stuff I’ve ever done.”
News Headline: “Neanderthals died out earlier than thought.”
QT is still trying to pinpoint the death of thought.
News Headline: “Why Republicans have to rebuild The Big Tent.”
Because everyone loves a circus.
Ted Nugent explaining his criticism of President Obama’s gun-control proposals after the State of the Union:
“I’m a gun guy. I’ve never been without a gun.”
Except when was a draft dodger during Vietnam.
But that was only for a number of years.
And he did become a “warrior,” as he likes to put it, when he was no longer eligible to serve in a war.
So give him credit.
Beware the ides of National Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Headline: “Obama speech will ‘throw down the gauntlet’ to Congress.”
News Headline: “Obama runs RNC gantlet.”
Say what you will about the man.
He knows which to throw and which to run.
Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
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Posted on February 13, 2013