By Zay N. Smith
News Headline: “A critical look at the art of George W. Bush.”
News Headline: “Art critic thinks George W. Bush is a ‘good painter.'”
And he did some of his best work into corners.
News Headline: “Lawmakers urge oversight of drone program.”
This may be difficult.
Polls indicate the American public is more inclined to overlook it.
News Headline: “Nemo: Worst blizzard name ever?”
Or put it another way:
When did the Blizzard of ’13 become Nemo, and when can we have the Blizzard of ’13 back?
And H.S., a Chicago reader, wants to know when did snow storms become snow events, and when can we have snow storms back?
And. . . .
News Item: “. . . candidate who still has fire in the belly. . . .”
News Item: “. . . candidate insists he has fire in the belly. . . .”
News Item: “. . . important that a candidate have fire in the belly. . . .”
News Item: “. . . a political system in need of reform. . . .”
Yes. In need of reform.
And antacids.
QT Digest of Rush Limbaugh’s Friday Show (for Your Convenience):
“. . . idiots. . . knuckleheads. . . garbage. . . I’ll explain everything. . . I’m no fool. . . here’s my brainchild. . . what a brain. . . woo-woo-woo-woo. . . Moe, Larry, the cheese!”
No. Wait.
This is a digest of a Three Stooges script.
Sorry.
Sometimes QT gets its notes mixed up.
News Headline: “NJ Sen. Robert Menendez says no one can buy him, defends actions that may have benefited donor.”
Why do we always assume that our politicians can be bought?
Have we heard of leasing with a fair market purchase option?
Not to mention vote default swaps. . . .
News Headline: “‘KILLER COP’ FEAR HITS GRAMMYS.”
No. It didn’t.
From the Annals of the Federal Department of Police Squad:
U.S. Air Force veteran Saadiq Long, who was unable to fly from Qatar to Oklahoma City because he was mistakenly on a Homeland Security no-fly list, finally was removed from the list and flew to Oklahoma City, where he visited and is now unable to return to Qatar because he is back on the list.
News Headline: “Clint Eastwood isn’t satisfied with Congress.”
Could someone please find 535 chairs so we can have this out?
News Headline: “Do we know how life began? Not really.”
Did QT continue reading this story?
Not really.
News Headline: “Meet ‘addicted couple’ that injects caffeine into their colons via enemas.”
Love to meet them – but wait, oh, doggone it, something just came up, can you believe it?
News Headline: “Paris Hilton increases her brain power with nutritional supplement drink as she goes grocery shopping in stylish playsuit.”
It has been 2,063 days since Paris Hilton announced she would be leaving public life.
For those keeping track.
QT Modern Corporate Gibberish of the Week:
Alare and Avanade have acquired Epocal and Opstera.
Respectively.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Headline: “U.S. cautions Britain not to loosen E.U. ties.”
Catherine Jones, a Halifax, Nova Scotia, reader, as long as we are on the subject of ties, wants you to know that “ascot” rhymes with “basket.”
And are we already past time for QT’s semiannual reminder that it is not “once more into the breach,” but “one more unto the breach”?
Evidently.
Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
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QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Posted on February 11, 2013