By Zay N. Smith
+ Rush Limbaugh the day before election day:
“All of my thinking says Romney big.”
+ Rush Limbaugh as the polls were about to close::
“I could be proven tonight to be so wrong and so all wet that nobody should be listening to me.”
So your duty is clear, Dittoheads.
You do follow directions, don’t you?
News Headline: “Multinational corporations try to buy an election.”
And fail.
But let’s go easy on them.
Some of these corporations are very sensitive people.
News Item: Escaped tortoise in Logan, Utah, is found by a neighbor less than a block from home.
Is there a more poignant sight than a tortoise making a break for it?
+ Jim Kehoe, a Sydney, Australia, reader, regarding the recent presidential election, writes:
“The world feels a little safer today.”
+ E.J., a Halifax, Nova Scotia, reader, writes:
“Thank you. Signed, The World.”
Anytime.
Think nothing of it.
News Item: “. . . the most retweeted photo in U.S. history. . . .”
Let’s not understate this.
It may be the most retweeted photo in human history.
News Headline: “Missouri Republican Akin loses after comments on rape.”
It was predictable.
If a candidate is a legitimate fool, the body politic has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
Stephen Smith, a Minneapolis reader, regarding QT’s wondering, if a group of larks is an exaltation of larks, what a group of politicians should be called, writes:
“With any luck at all: an absence of politicians.”
News Item: “A protest at the University of Mississippi against the re-election of President Barack Obama grew into crowd of about 400 people with shouted racial slurs as rumors of a riot spread. . . .”
Wait. There are schools in Mississippi?
QT Rules of Etiquette for Guys and Dolls:
+ Wing collar for white tie.
+ Normal collar for black tie.
Period. That’s it.
News Headline: “iPhone 5 builder says supply can’t match demand.”
And figure the whip is being cracked now at the Chinese sweatshops of hip, progressive Apple.
Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =
Thieves making a getaway at 2 a.m. in Athens, Ga., kept their truck’s headlights off so they wouldn’t be noticeable.
News Headline: Idaho business consultant announces he will turn away all customers who voted for President Obama.
News Headline: Virginia jeweler protests the presidential election by closing his store for a day .
Well. That’ll show everybody.
News Item: Tea Party activist posts Internet instructions to his wife to close the bank accounts, destroy all personal records, toss the cell phones, use back roads to avoid federal agents. . . .
So at least a few people in this country haven’t taken leave of their senses.
QT Modern Corporate Gibberish of the Week:
Flir has acquired Lorex.
LXXXVI Days Until Super Bowl XLVII Concussion Count UpdVIII:
NFL player concussions at the halfway point of the season: LXXVII.
The count including the pre-season: CXXV.
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Grover Cleveland once worked as a hangman.
+ Peas are a fruit.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Headline: “Wintry mix may make commute difficult.”
When did sleet become a wintry mix, and when can we have sleet back?
And. . . .
Write to QT at qt@beachwoodreporter.com
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Posted on November 9, 2012