By Eric Emery
Many tout the value of competition, saying that such pursuits build character. That sounds good, but then I think about playing in pick-up basketball games with my fellow thirtysomethings. You’ll never meet a bigger set of whiners, cheap-shot artists, and ill-tempered ballhogs in your life. And I’m part of the problem.
See, I disliked being benched my senior year. Pathetic as it sounds, somehow those old frustrations buried deep in my soul come out on the court. And in my sick mind, the next three-pointer erases what happened 16 years ago. A lot of guys out there can relate.
Believe it or not, though, some parallels exist between my fellow crappy basketball players and this year’s edition of the Bears.
Mr. Psych Job: Rex Grossman. Grossman did what he was supposed to do Monday night: Not suck. But he’s a head job who apparently relaxes when he succeeds and gets his head together when he fails – really, really fails. You live and die with this guy’s mental outlook.
The Hobbler: The Bears defense. This guy used to own the court, but injuries and rapid, mysterious aging have left him a shadow of his bad self. He can still pull off a smooth move when you need it, but in big games it might be too little too late.
The Ringer: Devin Hester. Your friend brings another friend onto the team and at first everyone ignores him. It quickly becomes apparent, though, that he’s better than everybody else. Pretty soon, the whole team leans on him to lead them to victory. But can you really count on your special teams to provide the bulk of our offense?
Tampa Bay vs. Chicago
When your final huge test consists of 5-8 Green Bay in Week 17, your remaining schedule is soft. When Tampa represents the second-hardest game, you realize Chicago has two strategic choices: Build momentum for the playoffs and risk a critical injury, or rest the starters so they get rusty.
Chicago’s offense struggles against good run defenses and in bad weather. Tampa Bay has a decent run defense. On the other hand, after seeing the Buccaneers live in Pittsburgh last week, I learned that the Bucs are good enough to beat the University of Florida, but just barely.
Still, I’m dying to say “I told you so.”
Pick: Tampa Bay plus 13.5/Over 33.5
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For Bears win:
Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 98 percent
Recommended sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 92 percent
Sugar in the Super Bowl pitcher: 85 percent
Recommended sugar in the Super Bowl pitcher: 38 percent
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For more Emery, see the Kool-Aid archive, and the Over/Under archive. He can be contacted at Eric_Emery12345@yahoo.com.
Posted on December 14, 2006