By David Rutter
And what a week it was.
1. Rahm and Michelle, WTF?
If the crux of the parlor game d’jour asks whether First Lady O is a bigger jerk than our mayor, we stand foursquare with the available evidence: Michelle Obama might be strong-willed and focused the way really smart people can be, but we know for sure that the mayor is foul-mouthed bully.
On the WTF Jerk-O-Meter, we give Mrs. Obama a 4.5. Rahm is clearly a 98. WTF’s a 137.65, only because we’ve been around since the Dead Sea was just really sick. We’ve also had to deal with more jerks.
(As for White House Chief of Staff-in-Exile Bill Daley, he was just another financier (a 37.5 on the Jerk-O-Meter) whose public face was better absent from a pending presidential campaign in which evil bankers will be the target of political opportunity. We have no evidence he is a jerk, either, but, really, who ranks higher in jerkdom than Emanuel? Hey Rahm, the Jerk Store called and they’re running out of you!)
2. Lake County Jail, WTF?
If nothing else, the case of Lyvita Gomes shows not just how easy it is to die in jail when no one is watching, but how easy to die in jail when everyone is watching.
3. Heroin Couple, WTF?
They just made it under the deadline, but this happy twosome have been awarded our Chicagoland Parenting Couple of the Year traveling trophy for 2011. Congrats, you crazy kids!
4. White Power Twins, WTF?
We suspect that white supremacists have not invented any new life-saving scientific gadgets or cardiac treatments or written the Great American Novel recently. Some bulbs use 200 watts. Some use just one. But do WS-ers have to be as stupendously stupid as these two?
It’s a rhetorical question. Of course they do.
5. William Francis Blankenship, WTF?
Okay, we admit he’s a low level punk but you have to give budding skunks their due. William Francis is clearly a good match for the rural gendarmes in Northwest Indiana.
We’re even sympathetic to the police. Of the most embarrassing duties for a cop is being required to file a stolen car report . . . on his own cop car.
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Comments welcome.
Posted on January 13, 2012