Chicago - A message from the station manager

The Week in WTF

By David Rutter

1. Maggie Daley, WTF?
We do not recall anyone but the lively folks at the Chicago Reader energetically chasing Richard Daley’s TIF shell game, which means the news of this was largely a surprise to to many people in the MSM. As with the Jon Burge torture regime, this was a topic that local news execs thought lacked an audience because it was too wonky. It could not compete with other breaking news bulletins – like it’s going to be cold and snowy this winter in Chicago.
But think of this: While Chicago government reels from supposed cash starvation, the money hidden in TIF accounts is roughly one-sixth more of what the city spends on everything.


2. Creepy cadavers, WTF?
Requiring Uncle Clarence’s unclaimed body to be hauled off for medical research might make sense from a Cook County money standpoint. But gosh, excuse us for being totally creeped out. Is this not punishing poverty and a sad lonely life with the ultimate assault on human dignity – after death we treat you like a dead lab rat without even finding out what you wanted?
Yes, it’s all for the general good, we suppose, although even people with money and education hardly ever vote to donate their body to science. It creeps them out, too. The difference is they get to decide for themselves.
3. Elizabeth Tisdahl, WTF?
And the entire student body of Northwestern University raised its arms in doobie-fed ecstasy at the support from Evanston’s mayor.
4. Stevan Stevlik, WTF?
What sort of “rehabilitation program” is available for soliciting a hooker?
Does it cure you of horniness? And does the treatment involve electroshock of genitals?
As an intrusion of big government into personal behavior, a Tea Party bigwig should have been consistent and refused government help with his hooker habit.
5. The Ditka boys, WTF?
When anyone named Ditka gets behind the wheel out in Deerfield, sirens wail in every cop precinct in Lake County.
Odds seem pretty high – as are they – that both of them will be drunk when they turn the key. Look it up.
The fact that Da Coach’s middle-aged sons are both slack-faced drunk drivers is not the greatest tragedy in the world – until they hit someone with the Lexus – but the old man still makes a handsome media living lecturing about manly virtues.

Comments welcome.

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Posted on October 7, 2011