By Eric Emery
Let me beg to differ: That Monday night game was not about the Bears. It was about the Cardinals. The Cardinals. If my team trailed the Cardinals by 20 points late in the third quarter, I expect them to rally. Why? Because it’s the Cardinals.
You could argue that great teams win games they shouldn’t. But you have to concede that even shitty teams win games against the Cardinals. So let’s settle down, people. Remember, we’re talking about the Cardinals.
After the game, the Cardinals fired its offensive coordinator. That makes sense. But this is a team whose head coach could just as easily have been fired. After the first Bears touchdown, Cardinals coach Dennis Green showed his “Oh crap, the wheels are falling off” face. After the second Bears touchdown, we saw the “Crap, I can’t get fired, my wife will get pissed” face. After the third Bears touchdown, Green flashed his “OK, I need to find a scapegoat for this” face. Green survived – so far – but this is the Cardinals. Not the St. Louis Cardinals, but the Arizona Cardinals. Get it?
Instead of firing Green, who did nothing to change the demeanor of a team going down in flames, the Cardinals fired Rowen, whose game plan only befuddled the NFL’s best defense. Say it with me: “That’s the Cardinals!”
The Cardinals: Serving as extra bye weeks for the luckiest 13 teams.
Next week, Dennis Green makes my picks, since I’m the Cardinals of football prognostication.
Last Week: 2-4
Overall: 9-25-2
Here are this week’s most over- and under-hyped games.
Over-hyped: Pittsburgh at Atlanta
Perhaps Atlanta should also consider firing their offensive coordinator, given that their veer-like running attack stinks. The Giants’ average defense bottled up Atlanta; the Steelers D will present a bigger challenge. Can you say shutout?
On the flip side, the Steelers looked infinitely better against Kansas City’s crappy defense last week. Still, question marks abound at wide receiver; the Steelers are still an unknown quantity.
Expect a sloppy game with more FGs than ignorant Phil Simms remarks and a possible chance to sleep through this with three hours of uninterrupted sleep.
Pick: Pittsburgh minus 1.5 points/Under 37.5 points
Under-hyped: NY Giants at Dallas (Monday night)
Maybe the hype machine hasn’t been cranked up yet, but this one isn’t yet getting the kind of attention you might expect. This is big – the one-week respite from TO ends Monday, as we recount TO’s touchdowns from Week 6. Did TO invent the polio vaccine? Just trust him, he knows what he is doing.
From what I’ve seen, both teams start slow. To borrow from the Match Game, “How slow are they?” Well, skip the first quarter and watch Justice on Fox. Finally, a court show that reflects society: The richest and best-represented Americans are always innocent.
But the last three quarters will be worth the price of admission. Not because these are great teams – Manning-the-younger struggles on the road and Bledsoe-the-shaky struggles to keep the boxers dry of urine. But these are evenly-matched teams with combustible elements fighting for the division. Hijinks should ensue.
Pick: Dallas minus 3.5 points/Under 44.5 points
Posted on October 19, 2006