By The Beachwood Semantics Affairs Desk
“Pawnbroker Scott Lee Cohen announced his independent candidacy for governor Monday, trying to leap back into the political fray that chewed him up and spit him out in February,” the Tribune reports.
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Pawnbroker: Unacceptable occupation for a politician.
Powerbroker: Highly esteemed occupation for a politician.
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Pawnbroker: Exploits vulnerable people for profit.
Powerbroker: Exploits vulnerable people for votes.
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Pawnbroker: Welcomed by powerbrokers to privately contribute to pols.
Powerbroker: Arranges private contributions to pols from pawnbrokers.
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Pawnbroker: Comes from a long line of sleazy operators.
Powerbroker: Comes from a long line of sleazy operators.
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Pawnbroker: A legally licensed profession.
Powerbroker: An unofficial profession that often operates illegally.
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Pawnbroker: Knows both the value and price of everything.
Powerbroker: Knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.
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Pawnbroker: Will help you out of a jam, no questions asked.
Powerbroker: Will help you out of a jam, no questions asked unless he’s wearing a wire.
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Pawnbroker: Competition on various street corners.
Powerbroker: Competition in various gutters.
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Pawnbroker: Often signified by a brightly lit sign of a diamond ring.
Powerbroker: Often signified by brightly displayed diamond pinkie ring.
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Pawnbroker: Often cashes checks for customers.
Powerbroker: Often collects checks from customers.
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Pawnbroker: Not allowed to be a lieutenant governor.
Powerbroker: Wouldn’t deign to be a lieutenant governor.
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Pawnbroker: Scott Lee Cohen.
Powerbroker: Michael Madigan.
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Comments welcome.
Posted on May 4, 2010