By J. Bird
I’m not really sure how to classify today. Yesterday I had that “get-up-n-go” attitude, but that might have had something to do with needing to get downtown and collect my pay. Today – Day Two of Life (Not) at Work – I didn’t.
Today was a little more low-key. I’d planned to write a book review that I’ve long owed another publication, but I didn’t get around to it. I had an awesome breakfast that was way too pricey for me but totally reasonable for how awesome it was. I slept in past nine, which is pretty cool. I trekked around the neighborhood to get my errands done, cos these beautiful days are going to be few and far between from here on out. I finally did some dishes and dealt, at least temporarily, with the ant invasion in my kitchen – I hate ants, I really do, but I think I hate the smell of Raid “Botanicals-With Natural Clove” even worse.
My laundry situation had become dire, so I got some quarters at the Currency Exchange over yonder and started on that task – no fun. The only decent thing about it is that one of the former hooligans that lived in the building figured out that the reason the dryer wasn’t working was because the guy that collects the money hadn’t locked the lock box, so you can just lift it up and press a button and voila! Free drying! Since it takes about eight times to dry a load of laundry, this saves a lot of money. I’d intended to totally clean my pad today – it’s pretty bad, embarrassingly so. I swept a bit, but that was it. Maybe over the weekend. It’s not like I have to be anywhere on Monday.
The job search isn’t going well, due to the fact that (a) when I check every day, there’s nothing new up that I actually want to apply for and (b) I’m either way overqualified or way underqualified for every job that looks remotely interesting. I got really psyched about one job until it turned out I’d have to join the Navy Reserves in order to do it. Yeah, right.
I’m considering a career as a private eye. Seriously. I’m not sure they’d consider me too seriously, but it’s worth a shot.
I’m pretty glad my folks are vacationing in the Mediterranean right now. If I had their utterly well-meaning support at this particular moment, I would probably have to flee normal civilization and become a cave-dweller. My mom is one of those “Why don’t you do such-and-such? That’s what so-and so did. You remember so-and-so? And that’s just worked out great for him” people. She means well, but you end up feeling like the biggest loser on earth because everyone she knows, or their kids, have achieved everything they’ve ever wanted and, well, I just “don’t fit in.” My dad is one of those totally reasonable, rational people until I say something like, “I think I’m going to apply to be a private eye.” Then he totally loses his shit, sputters unintelligible gibberish, and is usually forced to either hang up or hand the phone off to my mother.
Anyway, today was pretty much a write-off. I decided a nap was in order around two and didn’t wake up til my dog decided it was time for some Frisbee. Now it’s time for dinner and I just realized I forgot to go to the store. Looks like frozen pizza again!
J. Bird is the Beachwood’s pseudononmyous workplace affairs correspondent who, shortly after beginning this column, because unemployed. Now J. Bird is also the Beachwood’s pseudononymous unemployed affairs correspondent. You can catch up with Bird’s travails at the Life at Work archive.
Posted on September 15, 2006