By The Beachwood Privacy Settings Affairs Desk
Collected from Facebook, including some of our own postings.
1. WARNING: Facebook can now automatically scan your brain through your monitor. To block this application, go to Kitchen –> Open:Cabinets –> Upper Right Drawer –> REMOVE box that says “Aluminum Foil.” Wrap foil around your head. Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy this into your status to warn your friends.
2. As of today, Facebook staff will be allowed to eat your children and pets. To turn this option off, go to Settings, then Privacy, then Meals. Click the top button to not feed the employees of Facebook anything. Copy this to your status to warn your friends!
3. To change this option, go to Settings –> No Family Fire –> I Beg You –> then UN-CLICK the box that says ‘Incinerate Everyone’ . . .
4. As of today, Facebook staff will be allowed to eat your children and pets. To turn this option off, go to settings, then privacy, then meals. Click the top button to not feed the employees of Facebook anything. They are also going to start stealing your underwear. Copy this to your status to warn your friends.
5. Not sure if this is true or was announced, but best to be safe. PRIVACY UPDATE . . . If you don’t know, as of today, FB will automatically index all your info to the living dead, which allows zombies to view it. To change this option, go to Settings -> Privacy Settings-> Search-> then UNCLICK the box that says ‘Brain-Eating Zombies’.
6. Facebook is now indexing the contents of my refrigerator. Won’t take long.
7. As of today, Facebook will automatically index your dreams and sell your unconscious desires to advertisers. To change this option, go to Settings -> Privacy Settings-> Search-> then UNCLICK the box that says “Live Freud Feed.”
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Contributions welcome.
Posted on December 28, 2009