By The Beachwood Celebrity Feud Bureau
Jennifer Aniston is reportedly pissed off that she lost some dude named Bradley Cooper to Renee Zellweger, complaining to friends that she doesn’t see what Zellweger has that she doesn’t. We do.
* An Oscar.
* That cute kid Ray.
* She won’t drag you to dinner at the Cox-Arquette household.
* She hasn’t slept with Lumbergh.
* Twice as squinty.
* She no longer owns any Kenny Chesney records.
* Superior binging and purging skills.
* Has never dated John Mayer.
* Allegedly reads books.
* Doesn’t wonder what other people have that she doesn’t.
Posted on August 25, 2009