By Eric Emery
Yes, I know what you are thinking: The Bears have the winning formula – a proven QB, an original Offensive Coordinator, two solid RBs, a top ten defense, and a coach that specializes in discipline and defense. In fact, Ken, Dave, and some guy I met in Wrigleyville believe the Bears will go 13-3.
I know your non-Bear fan friends tell you that you are wrong. Packer fans disagree because they have too many thoughts of Brett Favre running through their head. John Madden disagrees because he has too many thoughts of Brett Favre running through his head. Minnesota fans disagree because they have the Love Boat theme running through their head. Allow me to disagree while five Lombardi trophies run through my head.
A Proven QB: Ken, Dave, and the guy I met in Wrigleyville believe the Bears have a proven QB . . . if he stays healthy. Hey, health in the NFL is like having fun at a funeral – It’s not going to happen. Every team has injuries. It’s the back-ups that help bridge the gaps to victories, more so than your stars.
Rex Grossman is a proven gimpy college QB. Brian Griese is a proven dysfunctional QB. Kyle Orton has proven to stink at QB. Sure, “QB” and “proven”appears in all three descriptions. That is the beauty of the language; it doesn’t mean always mean what you think it does.
An Original Offensive Coordinator: This part is true. Ron Turner is proven, and has had previous success in Chicago, before he went to the U of I and starred in the commercial “Oops, I crapped my pants.” Usually, it takes a year or two with the same Qs for an offense to truly click, so let’s call this one a push.
Two Solid RBs: This is also true. Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson boast better than average talent. Sure, both tend to get dinged up, but you have every confidence the other will carry the load. Adrian Peterson does not stink either. I grant you this, Bears fan, you have something here.
A Top Ten Defense: Let me say something right off the bat. The Bears defense is soft. They don’t play well in inclement weather. It’s fairly difficult to run between their tackles, but as the Steelers and Panthers showed, you can run outside at will against them. They don’t intimidate; they simply don’t break that much, and their above-average front seven covers for their lackluster secondary. If the front seven does not control the opposing offense, guys like Steve Smith will have a bazillion catches for infinity yards.
Really smart people had all year to look at this. And if you were the coach of the Packers, and you wanted to make a statement in your first game, you would watch for any weakness. Since it is the Bears, you know it’s an even bigger game, and it gets even more attention. I would worry about that game with the Packers. Remember what a motivated New Orleans team did against Carolina last year?
A Coach Who Specializes In Discipline: His name may be Lovie, but his message is Discipline. If you look at the numbers, the Bears committed fewer penalties and turned the ball over less frequently than most of the league. On the other hand, Lovie sounds like Cleveland from Family Guy. This is an area in which they cannot improve. Lovie has to make the guys laugh with that voice, and that is no way to win a championship.
It’s analogy time, Bears fans. I’m just saying it’s time to put the glass of Kool-Aid down, stop adding so much sugar, and thank your lucky stars you play in the NFC Central. If your team played in the AFC Central, you would be called the Baltimore Ravens.
Sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 80%
Recommended sugar in the Blue and Orange Kool-Aid: 45%
Posted on August 21, 2006