By Andrew Reilly
It’s tempting to use events like Mark Buehrle’s perfect game as a foundation for projecting how the rest of the season might go, an especially stupid proposition considering just how much of an aberration the event really is; you might as well say Jim Thome’s seven-RBI outings show a team that’s finally turned the corner. But what Buehrle’s tremendous achievement does give us is a guarantee of some degree of fond remembrance of the 2009 season.
Even if they keep losing so badly to the teams they’re supposed to beat, the perfect game was still awesome.
Even if Clayton Richard insists on only pitching well with a gun held to his roster spot, the perfect game was still awesome.
Even if Scott Linebrink can’t return to the form that made him such a valuable free agent signing not so long ago, the perfect game was still awesome.
Even if Carlos Quentin never quite gets his monstrous swing back, the perfect game was still awesome.
Even if Alexei Ramirez refuses to limit his endearing craziness to his bat, the perfect game was still awesome.
Consider 2007, for example. The Sox that season treated us to not one but two of the finest moments in any of our sports-watching lives, yet ended up collectively delivering one of the absolute worst seasons in collective memory. The team was awful, but that was okay because in the end we still had something to cheer about, and those things kept it from becoming just another hollow summer for the South Side faithful – but they only did that because nearly everything else added up to a whole lot of nothing.
So perhaps this latest major event in franchise history doesn’t have to mean much. Or, perhaps, it’s going to have to mean the world. Only time and another two months of mostly-imperfect baseball will tell.
Week in Review: An eight-game week found the Good Guys taking down a good team from a tough division yet staying home for a series against a weak team from a terrible division. Typical.
Week in Preview: A three-set under the world’s largest garbage bag and then hey Joey, lookadisguyovaheah, those hated Yankees come to town for a four-spot. May both of those ballclubs burn for all of eternity, or at least until next Sunday. No, actually, let’s stick with all of eternity.
The Q Factor: Late Wednesday afternoon, Carlos Quentin showed teammate Mark Buehrle an arm slot for a change-up he’d discovered several years ago while traversing the Zinat Mountain range through northern Morocco. On Thursday, Buehrle threw this pitch once. Twenty-seven times.
That’s Ozzie!: “I wish I was his father, I wouldn’t have let him take it.” – Guillen on how to raise Jim Parque.
The Guillen Meter: With the offense and bullpen folding at the worst possible time, the Guillen Meter reads 8 for “throwing his hands up in disgust.”
Underclassmen Update: With Wednesday’s call-up of Carlos Torres, the First Aaron Poreda Dynasty comes to a gentle close.
Alumni News You Can Use: In addition to making good players into great players, human growth hormone can also make a so-so pitcher into a terrible pitcher. Perhaps former future Hall of Fame Sox prospect Gio Gonzalez could use some of Dr. Parque’s assistance in raising his already astronomical 7.75 earned run average to epic new heights.
Hawkeroo’s Can-O-Corn Watch: Baseball history is rife with legendary calls of great moments, from “There is a new home run champion of all time, and it’s Henry Aaron!” to “The mound at Dodger Stadium right now is the loneliest place in the world” to “I don’t believe what I just saw!” This past Thursday, Sox fans had their latest moment in the sun immortalized as follows: “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! History!” A veritable Shakespeare, that Hawk of ours. Expect similar works of literary beauty in praise of Nemesis Carlos Gomez and Sworn Enemy Derek Jeter, both easily, if we’re talking about baseball players here, not guys who play baseball but actual baseball players, guys who go out there and find a way, day in and day out, to make teams win the games they don’t lose, the single greatest baseball player ever, no question. No question.
Endorsement No-Brainer: DeWayne Wise for old-timey handwear manufacturers: “It’s a glove, that’s all you need to know.”
Cubs Snub: They’re not really in first because beating the Reds doesn’t count.
The White Sox Report: Read ’em all.
The Cub Factor: Know your enemy.
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Andrew Reilly is the managing editor of The 35th Street Review and a contributor to many fine publications.
Posted on July 27, 2009