By The Beachwood Tuition Oversight Affairs Desk
The University of Illinois is increasing its tuition. Here are some ways they might spend the extra revenue.
* Upgrade clout list software
* Put finishing touches on new clout major
* Refinance hush fund
* Emergency expansion of legal department
* Extra sticker thingies for football helmets
* Complete conversion to online-only diploma mill
* Pay off back-dated recruiting bonuses for Deon Thomas
* Give Chief Illiniwek money to start casino
* Buy 2.42 thousand metric tons of Ramen noodles for student body
* Send President B. Joseph White to ethics training
– Eric Emery, Steve Rhodes
COMMENTS:
1. From Beachwood reader Mark:
More black markers for the crew down in FOIA – keep up the good work, kids.
– Suggest your own!
Posted on June 26, 2009