By David Rutter
1. You mean that Matt Millen is an analyst? Seeing the man who single-handedly (OK, so he used both hands) destroyed the Detroit Lions being trotted out as an expert football assessor is like, oh, I dunno, like trotting out Bob Davie as an analyst. Oh, wait . . .
COMMENT 11:11 A.M.: Kelly Murphy writes:
Just had to add, Detroit was not very happy about Millen either. Here is a video that shows a scroll during the game.
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See also: “Warning! Matt Millen’s On.”
2. Bruce Springsteen, now officially older that Jagger and dirt. As one of only two people in the Western Hemisphere who does not get Springsteen’s allure, I am now more confident of announcing in public that Springsteen is older than anyone now performing on a stage – other than Don Rickles. And the E Street Band, which Springsteen insists is now at the top of its game, looks like a mass breakout after someone left the back door unlocked at the nursing home. Sounds like it, too.
3. Thank God that James Harrison wasn’t the MVP. It wasn’t his 100-yard interception for a touchdown that you should remember about his performance. It was the punt on which he assaulted – I mean literally assaulted – Cardinals blocker Aaron Francisco in the general felonious definition. He not only whacked the guy, he was punching him like a mugger going for a wallet and prompted usually amused John Madden to suggest he be jettisoned from the game. Harrison escaped a legal fracas for whacking his girlfriend last spring. We’d guess the court-ordered anger management class didn’t totally solve all his issues.
4. Hey, Comcast, why didn’t we see this? Everybody else’s cable TV package (our word) is always better than ours. Somebody in Tucson cross-wired 30 seconds of porn into the Super Bowl telecast, and Comcast has agreed to pay $10 to every customer who was “impacted” (their real word) by the event. The feed was sent through Cox Communications. Really.
5. What’s second prize? The governors of Arizona and Pennsylvania exchanged customary Super Bowl bets, but this time they decided to make it insipid on a more Super Scale. Arizona bet a trip to Phoenix. Pennsylvania bet a trip to Pittsburgh. We think each is a bit like a blind date with the ugliest girl in North Dakota. Or the ugliest guy in South Dakota if you’re gay. At least some lucky Steelers fan might find Arizona cable-TV offerings more interesting than what they get back home.
Posted on February 4, 2009