By Julia Gray
Advertisers paid a total of $260 million for ad space during the Super Bowl XLIII and I’m wondering if we got the best Madison Avenue could give. Here are the ones – both good and bad – that I found most memorable.
1. Bud Light (Meeting)
Comment: I’d like to fire this commercial and toss it out of a window.
Grade: F
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2. Audi
Comment: It’s slick, quick and fun to see the old-school cars in the chase scenes. But, if you’ve seen movies with car chase scenes, you’ve already seen this ad.
Grade: PG
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3. Bridgestone Taters
Comment: It’s nice to know that Potato Head wives gripe at their husbands as much as their human counterparts do. I’m thinking the ad person who came up with this one doesn’t like his wife very much. Or potatoes.
Grade: Three potato wedges.
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4. Bud Light (Conan)
Comment: Even a funny guy can’t make this beer taste good.
Grade: C Light.
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5. Castrol
Comment: A clever mix of chimps, Iron Butterfly, and an air filter.
Grade: Four bananas.
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6. GoDaddy (Enhancement)
Comment: Danica Patrick begins her inexorable slide into her post-racing pornography career.
Grade: Eight cylinders and a pair of fake boobs.
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7. Pedigree
Comment: This ad makes a great point in a not so obvious manner. Rhino dung would be a bitch to get out of the carpet but it would do wonders for your garden. Also, if you didn’t like your exotic pet collection, you could always kill it for food and wall hangings. But, when all is said and done, you’re better off getting a dog.
Grade: Three ostrich burgers.
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8. Budweiser (Clydesdales and Circus)
Comment: Like Conan O’Brien, an equine love story can’t make this beer taste good. Wasn’t it Mike Royko who once quipped that Budweiser tastes like it’s been brewed through a horse? But it does make me want to run off and join the circus.
Grade: One circus peanut.
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9. Cash4Gold
Comment: It’s nice to see that Ed McMahon and MC Hammer are working again. This commercial oughta keep them both from begging for money on Larry King for a couple of months.
Grade: Four gold stars.
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10. Teleflora.com
Comment: I’d love to hear what a box of flowers would say to me.
Grade: Four long-stemmed roses.
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11. Monster.com
Comment: Moose ass. That’s all I have to say on the subject.
Grade: One antler.
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12. Cars.com
Comment: The creator of this ad should burn his Wes Anderson library and maybe visit a brothel for inspiration.
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13. E-Trade
Comment: I don’t know what this ad is selling because I’m too disturbed by the creepy babies and that Mr. Mister song.
Grade: One broken wing.
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14. CareerBuilder
Comment: Longest one-minute spot ever.
Grade: One want ad.
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15. Jay Leno
Comment: Thanks for totally ruining that old Sam & Dave song for me.
Grade: One chin.
Posted on February 2, 2009