By Marty Gangler
Okay. What is there to say about what happened again in the playoffs? And if you are any sort of fan of The Cub Factor, what is there to say that’s kind of funny about what happened again this year in the playoffs? The only answer is: nothing. There is nothing funny about what happened. But is there hope? Hope sucks. Here is an e-mail exchange I had with a colleague from Boston who is a big Red Sox fan:
Hey,
Are you enjoying another run to the World Series? Isn’t it bad enough that you guys have to win it again yet you trade the guy that turns around the season of the team that knocks the Cubs out Geesh.
This was his response:
Yeah sorry about that . . . was really hoping for a Cubs v [Red] Sox series. It looked like the Cubs played scared the whole time. I know this because it is the same way the [Red] Sox used to play before 2004. Everything felt and looked the same, it was really weird. The last thing real [Red] Sox fans want is Manny helping anyone out . . . it is like salt in a wound to see him run out ground balls and playing hard again . . . prickhead that he is, still an offensive machine.
I guess it sums it up. The Cubs were scared, the fans were scared, and scared teams and people don’t act and play the way that they should.
So, how do we fix this? Well, you aren’t going to make the fans less scared – we are scared shitless and will be forever, rr, I mean, until we win it all. So it comes down to the players and getting them to be less scared. But how? Should Lou tuck them in at night before playoff games? Should they get super drunk before each game? Maybe they should get a nite light. Or maybe they should grow a set.
I think I’m going to go with them growing a set. I’m not sure there’s anything else to say.
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Week in Review: Fuck.
Week in Preview: Whatever.
The Second Basemen Report: Three games and a lot of Mark DeRosa hitting pretty well and fielding very badly. Maybe next year we will see a new guy here who will solidify the position. Paging Brian Roberts! Just like Hendry drew it up.
In former second basemen news, maybe Alfonso Soriano will become a former Cub second baseman. He’d be missed . . .
The Zam Bomb: Big Z kind of went boom but it wasn’t his fault. Of course, he’s still furious,though.
Endorsement No-Brainer: The 2008 Cubs for the Heimlich Maneuver. Learn how to use it or this will happen to you.
Lost in Translation: Kosuke Fukudome is Japanese for horrible mistake.
Sweet and Sour Lou: 49% sweet, 51% sour. Lou is down 26 points this week due to losing. And just like you real crazy drunk uncle, Lou doesn’t know where his life went wrong.
Center Stage: We would like to thank scrap heap pickups J-Ed and Reed-dog for picking up the slack vacated by another “can’t miss” prospect that is currently “can’t hit.” That’s Japanese for Felix Pie.
The Cub Factor: Catch up with them all
Beachwood Sabermetrics: A complex algorithm performed by the The Cub Factor staff using all historical data made available by Major League Baseball has determined that this sucks.
Over/Under: The amount of seats empty all next year: zero.
Mount Lou: Mount Lou has moved to Green as anger magma has cooled and settled into petrified confusion.
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Posted on October 9, 2008