By Julia Gray
When I heard that Kimora Lee Simmons and her husband, hip hop mogul and satchel-ass pants designer Russell Simmons were getting a divorce, I was hoping that Kimora’s 15 minutes would finally be up. Why such vitriol you ask? Well, her first offense was taking over the Hello, Kitty icon and turning it into expensive jewelry for her line of clothing and accessories, Baby Phat. Then, in an article in Vanity Fair, she compared herself to the late Coretta Scott King. Seriously.
The Style Network’s new reality series Kimora: Life In the Fab Lane is an inside peek at Kimora’s world. Last night’s episode featured Kimora planning an ad campaign for her Baby Phat line. There’s a hitch, though. The chosen theme, Russia, does not exactly reflect the pink T-shirts and hip sweat suits that are Baby Phat’s signature. I don’t remember seeing photos of Russian soldiers on the Eastern Front festooned in pink sweats or prisoners in the gulag trying to keep warm in dolman-sleeved tees. So, Senior Director of Marketing James (serfs aren’t allowed last names) has been assigned the task of making new designs to match the theme, not go over budget and most importantly, not let Kimora know there’s a problem.
James’s slow-motion meltdown and teeth-gnashing are intercut with Kimora berating the ad agency she’s hired about being over two hours late for a meeting, as well as her praying with her employees and doing an odd type of touchy-feely yoga with creepy yoga guru Jules. We get a twofer of Jules when Kimora later enlists his help to calm down her staff. James, who claims to weigh over 300 pounds, is skeptical of the guru and his full-body relaxation tactics. His uneasiness is evident during his session, but it’s nice to see that he has indeed relaxed, even if for just a nanosecond.
We also get to see Kimora talking with Russell about the Kimora Barbie Doll and playing with her two adorable daughters, Aoki Lee and Ming Lee. Most of the voice-over is Kimora philosophizing about life with such gems as “Money comes and goes and husbands come and go.” We also witness Kimora “trying to deal” because she’s “trying to diet, find the proper pill,” and quelle horreur, declaring that “the granola’s not cutting it.”
When the troupe heads to L.A. for the long, one-day shoot at the Orpheum Theatre, the West Coast is not without drama. We see James and Kimora in a catfight over the non-existent budget, which leaves James in tears and on the verge of quitting. “If you quit, then you’ll be a quitter,” snaps Kimora. Wow. However, they make nice and Kimora sings his praises in a voice over with words like “sensitive and so smart.” After that ugly scene, it’s nice to see that James did not quit because if he had, it’s evident that Kimora would be up the well-known creek without a diamond-encrusted paddle.
The day of the shoot finds Kimora and her entourage without the appropriate designs for a few hours. Eventually, James is presented with very cute clothing and accessories with Russian-esque colors: gold, red, black etc. When the items arrive, Kimora is none the wiser about what her employees went through to get the appropriate look for the shoot and after witnessing her behavior thus far, she probably wouldn’t care.
The best sequence in the episode is Kimora’s two daughters making cupcakes for her with personal Chef Hassan while she’s at the shoot. It’s fun to watch the girls mix and eat the dough, pour sprinkles all over the kitchen and just generally act like little kids. Even Kimora seems appreciative when we see her return to the house, read the “I love you Mommy” notes, and actually eat the cupcakes. A former supermodel eating carbs, now that’s fab.
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Posted on August 13, 2007