Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And said, Hey! I could shoot you and not lose any votes, bitch!
*
Jack and Jill went up the hill
both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with $2.50.
He should not take her back. She cheated on him like a dog and will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!
*
Little boy blue
Hey! He needed the money – and you know what? It really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.
*
Roses are red
Violets are blue
And Arianna Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.
*
Good ol’ Mother Theresa, remember her? I fucked her.
*
Three blind mice,
See how they run.
They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.
*
Hickory dickory dock
I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.
*
Georgie Porgie, puddin’ and pie,
I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.
*
Mary had a little lamb
she kept in her backyard
And my fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.
*
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And I will build a great, great wall on our Southern border, mark my words.
–
Comments welcome.
Posted on January 25, 2016