Chicago - A message from the station manager

The Periodical Table

By Steve Rhodes

A review of the magazines laying around Beachwood HQ.
Meet Mrs. R. Kelly
R. Kelly’s estranged wife Andrea speaks to Chicago’s very own Natalie Moore in the June issue of Essence. Andrea pretty much skirts around the central issue – her husband’s alleged underage philandering – as she stays loyal to the man she is divorcing and exhibits no sympathy to the alleged victims or their families. The key passage is this one:
“When asked, ‘Do you believe the allegations about your husband?’ she responds without hesitation that she absolutely does not, suggesting it’s all a lie and that her husband is not the man on the tape. ‘C’mon. Who would believe all that? That’s why they call them allegations,’ she says.
“But did she see the tape?


“‘Why would you ask that question of a woman married with children?’ she says. ‘It’s ludicrous to ask me a question like that. Really, would you want someone to ask you that? And if they did ask you, would you see the tape?’
“All that to say, no, she hasn’t seen the tape and never looked at it. And for all those people who sought out the tape, she says, check your morals.”
I’ve got news for you, Andrea. You’re the one who ought to check her morals. Evidence strongly suggests your husband hurt underage girls in the most traumatizing way known. Besides, if the man on the tape isn’t R. Kelly, you could certainly help his defense, no? And you might even be able to identify the girl, too. Check your morals, girl.
Hi-Tech Diet
The June issue of Self features Mandy Moore on the cover and instructions to take “Inches Off In 8 Moves.”
I didn’t know Photoshop was that complicated. I think I can do it in three.
Bono Fair
The Bono-edited July issue of Vanity Fair is for a good cause – Africa – but a snooze nonetheless.
But is that Jennifer Aniston going commando in that SmartWater ad opposite page 84?
(And what’s up with this kind of imagery?)
Rich Man, Poor Man
The superrich are getting superricher. The rest of us aren’t.
This true but familiar tale brought to you by this week’s New York Times Sunday magazine.
But not everything in their “money issue” is so familiar.
* It turns out, somewhat predictably, that the growth Democrats who prevailed in the Clinton Administration with their own brand of trickle-down economics (as well as smug NAFTA proselytizers) were wrong and the more leftish elements of the party were right.
The story is told through the evolution in the thinking of former Treasury Secretary and Harvard president Larry Summers.
* Zoe Cassavetes lives in a West Village studio and doesn’t have a job. She does go to the gym every day, though.
* John Edwards cares about poverty, but his passion is not equalled by policy expertise, nor even poverty expertise, if this portrayal is to be believed. And my God, what was he thinking when he built a 28,000-square-foot mansion complete with indoor squash and basketball courts while going around the country denouncing inequality?
Neo-Gentrification
I appreciate the effort, but Conscious Choice’s story on gentrification in Wicker Park is about 10 years too late. I remember when Filter was the interloper.
Thin Reed
“We should wrap this up, sweets.”
Lou Reed to Conscious Choice’s Eliza Thomas
Fictional Issue
This week is The New Yorker’s summer fiction issue, so I breezed through it in a few minutes ’cause I’m not really a fiction kind of guy. David Denby, though, surprisingly raves about Mr. Brooks, the new Kevin Costner-Demi Moore movie.
Apple of our i’s
Is Apple the coolest company ever? Maybe. I mean, Fender is a pretty cool company. They make guitars. And working on the line at Hostess may not be so great (or maybe it is), but they deliver joy to the world. Apple, though, is one of the world’s most creative and innovative companies ever, and you wish smart, fun folks like this populated newsrooms.
“Apple and Art of Innovation” is nonetheless a snoozer of a cover story in this week’s Economist, mainly because there’s not much new in it, at least if you are the sort of person who reads the Economist.
But it’s still a cool company.
Spin Cycle
In its somewhat skeptical “The Truth About Recycling,” the Economist concludes thusly: “If done right, there is no doubt that recycling saves energy and raw materials, and reduces pollution. But as well as trying to recycle more, it is also important to try to recycle better. As technologies and materials evolve, there is room for improvement and cause for optimism. In the end . . . waste is really a design flaw.”

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Posted on June 12, 2007